A True Story. Contradiction, Much?

I have a tale I wish to tell. It is a real story.

I myself found it hilarious, but that’s me only so maybe it isn't funny to others but more on the… disturbing side.

This happened on Monday, my day-off from work. Unfortunately a co-worker and friend of mine decided to take this to their advantage and pleaded me to help her with her assignment. Although barely important, I’d like you to note that she is a Year 12 student...

On Monday after school she came over – it was pure coincidence that she got there at the same time that I did. We entered my house and with the manners required of the house owner, I asked, "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat anything?"

She shook her head, "Nah, I’m really full. I just ate heaps of stuff."

"Okay," I responded with no continued insistency. This was the girl who complained almost every day about her weight and waistline. This was the girl who keeps telling me that she was on a diet. This was the girl who is planning on spending over $1000 AUSD on her clothes to her Formal Graduation Party. This was the girl that goes shopping at least once a week for new clothes.

I sat down next to her and began eating my dinner – I usually only have two meals per day, one before school and one after school, mainly because eating at school is inconvenient – a big pain.

As I read through what her assignment was about, I watched her eat the snacks that were on the table from the corner of my eyes, but didn’t comment on it. But then when I put down my plate, she stole a bite from my food so I finally decided to comment on it, "…I thought you said you were full."

"You were eating in front of me, so of course I’d start feeling hungry!" she responded defensively.

"…yeahh…"

"Go get more rice!" she ordered enthusiastically. I got up and grabbed the rice from the kitchen and gave her almost all of it. Including my part, it was more than enough to feed two people… it may not seem like much, but you must not forget that she was just "full" a few minutes ago.

She thought that what I gave her was too much, so she returned a small amount to my plate then began energetically eating her own share.

After she finished, and as I was writing out her assignment, she began complaining, "Ah. I ate too much. My stomach hurts. I need to take a poo." < this might be weird in English, but in Thai, it's actually pretty normal to say this, as long as you know the other person well...

"Then go do it."

"You know me; I’ll take forever. I won’t go now."

"Okay then,” I replied distractedly, 80% of my mind still on the assignment.

A few seconds later she started again, "My stomach hurts. I need to poo."

"Okay..." She complained "Ah! I can’t stand it anymore; I’m going to go take a poo."

"Have fun."

She returned around 15 minutes later from the toilet and sat back down.

Around 10 minutes after that she asked me, "Hey, don’t you have any food I can eat!?"

"…" I decided to remind her, "Didn’t you say you were full?"

"…" I myself thought that she probably took in all out in the toilet. ==

Then, feeling bored most probably, she went and used my treadmill (hoh, I have a treadmill in the living room! XD …I don’t even use it…), then moved on to the other exercise equipment – I don’t know what it’s called… Cardio Twister, was it? Anyway, she spent around 15 more minutes on that, then turned ecstatic when she saw the weight-measure thing (…I can’t remember what it’s called in English, sorry). She ran to it and weighed herself, then exclaimed cheerily, "Hey, I just went down a whole kilogram!"

Me: "Good for you."

She ran back to the Cardio Twister and continued on her expedition.

After 3 more minutes, she sat back down next to me. After 1 minute spent sitting down, she asked, "Hey, don’t you have any food that I can eat?"

"…" ...I kindly left her to her own devices...