I Just Have to Say Something About Life Otherwise it Just Doesn't...

This post was written on the 2nd of February, 2012. Specifically 13 days (that's almost 2 weeks) ago.

Aaah... how much I hate living.

How much I hate life.

Note that the above (s) feelings cannot be properly described into words.

After mentioning to my friend that the reason I "never feel great" was "because I hate life", my friend comments back that "...you're pessimistic" after I failed to find a word to describe myself.

...So I'm pessimistic? *raised eyebrows*

I'd rather think that I'm REALISTIC, THOUGHTFUL, cowardly (quite. aka "not confident"), careful (because I always think of the worse possible outcomes)... among others.

But then again I can't deny the fact that I am quite pessimistic.

...but really, I just have to say that "I hate living", "I hate life", "I want to die" or something along those lines at least once a day otherwise I just don't feel right.

It's like the feeling you get when you just did an exam and you just can't help but say "I'm so going to fail", even though you actually know you won't and that it was pointless to say so despite the fact that it won't change your exam results whatsoever. It just makes you feel better by jinxing yourself in case you really do fail, so then you can tell your friends "hah! I said so" (if you really do fail) or just to make yourself sound modest, or whatever. My point is that it's pointless to say so, yet you say it all the time. :P

...even though you're saying something negative, it makes you feel better, which is weird.

Psychology is weird like that though. ^^

It's just hard for me to explain it in words.

...It's hard for me to explain anything in words these days, actually. *~* Not good... *siiiighh* Then again, I've always been a stupid person despite what everyone around me thinks. ^^ I wonder where they get that idea from... (my pretty good grades and academic awards from the school maybe? ...isn't that only because the school's curriculum is slack??? So you can't actually say that I'm smart. I'm pretty stupid actually, even compared to my friends.) ...

I'm just... good at understanding things! And once you understand something, it's easier to solve a problem concerning that understanding!
But I'm terrible at creating new ideas, finding out a mystery (like solving cases), and stuff like that.
I know someone who's good at both, though. :/

Life.

So complicated and difficult in many different ways.
Like despair.com said,

Recently Indulged OMOSHIROI Websites and Things that INSPIRE People to Become Unmotivated xD

So I've been doing nothing but reading manga and writing stories, like usual.
Of course, there's school and all that senseless crap, but they are so little they don't really mean anything. ==

~
Today I, drastically and regrettably, once again, ended up reading a single TV Tropes page... and then it stretched on nonstop. Which is, of course, a perfectly normal thing seeing that it is this wiki. After all, as many say, TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life. And it will cause you to open a numerous number of tabs which will possibly result in your computer crashing from information overload. xD

I clicked on this TV Tropes page after the  TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life page told me not to if I don't want TV Tropes to ruin my life... but then again, TV Tropes Could Also Enhance My Life.
Read the list of forums there are. It's hilarious. >.> And very... friendly-sounding.

Anyway, I read this wiki and was ultimately fascinated and amused.
I mean, is it really that bad? I honestly don't know since I don't really read Bleach forums that much. The most I'll do is browse through the Current Chapter Discussion on Mangafox after a new chapter comes out.
But maybe I'll go check the Character Discussion Threads, or, maybe, even more correctly, the Romance Discussion Threads sometimes later... which I doubt very much that it'll have a lack of shipping wars.

...TV Tropes had been one of my favourite websites for a long while now, which includes Fanfiction.net, Fictionpress.com, Mangafox.com, Blogspot.com... and I'd like to include Google.com but then that would just, very simply, sound stupid. xD
And now there's another website to add to that list! This website is just too cool. Hell, even its logo is abnormal! And I can't say that abnormal is not cool. >.>
...I mean, oh, the Demotivators! (now, they aren't just cool, but extremely cool... they really give us an "oh, so true!" reaction. xP)
And since I'm blogging, I'm going to use this one as an example of those things called "Demotivators" xP:

Just in case; Source: despair.com. I don't own the picture, obviously, btw. X)

Well? Isn't it so true?

I love those kinds of pessimistic (buuuut, REALISTIC) stuff. Bonus points for being hilarious.

We're learning about Satires in English right now, which is directly related to those Demotivators since it ridicules stuff and are satirical.

I was shown some examples of "inspirational" posters as well... the teacher (let's call her KG-sensei) asked the class "Do you think the posters work on people (as in, do you think it inspired them)?"

I had to say "yes, they (probably) work on people"... [that obviously aren't me.]

They were supposed to be INSPIRATIONAL. And I know that. >.> So I put that. But I wasn't inspired. But apparently half the class was. ==

...To me, one of the posters didn't seem to be so inspirational (in the general public view... the other ones I can understand for being inspirational, but this one actually had the opposite effect on me O.o).. and it said; "There's no telling how many miles you'll have to run chasing a dream." To me, this sentence was rather "demotivating". xP But it was categorised in the "Inspiring" group. I didn't say anything out loud about it since I might've sounded like a pessimistic person... and then my classmates, let alone my teacher might.. err... anyway, let's just say I don't (and won't ever) tell my teachers that I want to die right now. ><

...they might decide to force me into something like a "counselling". Oh, the horror. Dx 

It's not like I'm going to kill myself or anything, despite wanting to die! =*=

Anyhow, I decided that it was time to post something so that Ruu-chan can be happy. 

...And that's this post. (Obviously)

I also have 5 more posts in "editing mode"... but I'll save them so that I can release one post per day rather than 5 all in one day then a long absence... >.>

Bye,

Mage-chan~

P.S. This is the post with the most links I've ever created so far! 8D 19 different links. x) Hey, why not 20?? >.>