Irritation is a Frequent Visitor to My Head, But I Told Them to Go Elsewhere Instead :)

Anyhow, I’m still blogging, as you can see. ^^

Also, whee!! The post title rhymes!! 8D

I’m happy at myself today; I think I acted pretty normal… I think. At least I highly hope so.

There was also another reason that made me happy at myself (there were a few instances where I definitely was not happy at myself though).

First let me relay to you what happened.

My friend’s household conditions has a risk of falling apart (even disappearing completely as a whole) in the future, and the problem and solution is money, plus people’s evilness.

She once stated that she was going to save up money to help with the cursed problem.

So I said, a few eeks later, “You said that you wanted to save up money right?”

“Yeah…?”

“However, if you continue working like this, you’ll never get a pay rise! You’ll need to know what you’re doing wrong! The other waitresses needs to know, too…”

“…I don’t really mind…”

“…”

“…”

I turned to her sharply.

She flashed me a sheepish-looking smile.

I mentally facepalmed myself.

The first second I was pissed at her, but my logical mind caught up to me quite quickly, to my content. :)

Rather than getting angry at someone like her who never fails to irritate me (along with many others – everybody in the whole world never fail to irritate me every now and then) my feelings changed.

I felt more like shooting myself in the head for my stupidity.

This only farther supported my thoughts.

That feelings and emotions are only a pain.

Yep, I’m still repeating myself.

I’m so boring. ==

I was happy that instead of feeling irritated about that certain friend, I blamed myself instead.

Yay~! Yay yay~!

Everything is my fault anyways, so it’s more reasonable of me to be irritated at myself. After all, it’s my fault; since I started the conversation. I brought it onto myself.

My friend, after the Something You Feel When You Want Things to Just End Already post, wanted to say something in response to it seeing that more than half of the post happens to be about her. She replied – ui dunno what reaction or response from me she was aiming for, but she responded with all those irrelevant points.

I was like, WTF? Why are you pointing out all these things? They ain’t the problem – not the ones that needs fixin’ anyways. Sure, I mentioned them, but solving them won’t change too much.

But I’ve already fizzled my irritation from that conversation by redirecting the unreasonable emotion to myself, so now it’s reasonable.

After all it’s my fault for blogging about it, resulting in her talking to me about it.

Besides, it’s almost impossible for me to not be irritated at almost everything that anybody says. =.=”

But then again it’s my fault for being so narrow-minded (and to be suffering from Depression), causing me to get irritated so easily and so often. :/

Crecsendo, Keeping, Going and GONE

Oh mi gosh. O.o

I took the BDI again after approximately 2 or so weeks, and guess what I got? It increased by TEN points! O.o

Last time I took it I received a score of 28 (Moderate Depression), this time I got 38 (Severe Depression). Crap, it increased… and a lot, too. == (I discovered that I had Moderate Depression through the BDI only in February, and it’s April, so I guess it took me only 2-3 months to increase a level [unless I’ve had Moderate Depression for a long, long time now…] O.o)

Maybe that’s why I can’t really tell what’s pessimism and what’s depression anymore.

Must be all that visa and Work Experience stuff…

But who caressss! At the moment I’ve given up committing suicide, so it’s fine, isn’t it? It’s not like I’m going to go and randomly cut myself or anything either. :/ That’s not cool, really.

I’ve already decided to just ignore everything else, ignore what I want or what I feel, and only doing what I must, after all. That’s also why I’ve given up suicide [for the time being, mind you :P]. People tell me it’s wrong, you know it’s wrong, I know it’s wrong. And seeing that it’s so wrong, I decided to put it off; it’s a waste of time just thinking about it when I’m not actually going to do it [err… most likely] after all. So I’m just going to continue living, giving my best into what I must do.

Otherwise I’ll end up doing nothing.

I’ll be stuck in the same spot, I’ll never be moving forward.

I’m probably repeating myself here [and I most probably will again in the future, because I simply can’t not repeat myself xP], but I no longer care. I no longer give a crap about what happens. There’s really nothing to be hoping for – I don’t want to feel disappointed and irritated and sad and frustrated about things anymore. I’m completely running away, yes.  Then again, I’m sort of facing it at the same time – I’m continuing on living, so I’ll have to face them anyway, but since I’m no longer hoping for anything, there’s nothing for me to be disappointed at, is there?

Maybe one day I’ll turn back into that cheerful kid I once was, but it’s unlikely. I’ve matured. I now know that life is terrible, and reality is harsh.

There ain’t much in life to look forward to except ma’ death < okay, that was depression. Even I could tell. :P

I’ve turned into a realist in my course of being depressed, and I no longer believe in hopes and dreams – dreams are generally hard to achieve, anyway.

Wouldn’t you know how lucky you are to be one of the few to achieve something like a dream?

Haaah…

Anyhow, I shouldn’t even be talking about this – I shouldn’t even be blogging at all, if I wanted to follow all of my goals. But I feel for the readers.  But then that means I’m still doing something that I ‘want to’, something that isn’t a ‘must’. Maybe I’ll just limit my posting then. Yep, let’s do that.

I work 5 days a week so let’s make it 2 posts a week – one per one day-off. :)

I’ll have to limit my internet time to even less – I think I’ll have to drop some manga series that I’m following as well; since I can’t regularly check the “Manga Releases” page of mangafox, I’ll have to make it easy for me so that I won’t have to check which series has updated so many times.

Let’s see, let’s make it like this,

Ones that I’m not dropping;

<Weekly Series;>

Noblesse – the characters are cool, and I want to see what happens next. Like, quite badly.

Detective Conan – I’ve been following this manga for 10 years. I am NOT going to drop it now. >.>

Nononono – it’s finishing soon anyway, doesn’t make too much difference. ^^

Gintama – too funny; reading it soothes me. :)

<Monthly Series>;

Oresama Teacher – hilariously random, a light, enjoyable read. Want to see Takaomi and Mafuyu get together.

Pandora Hearts – one of the most twisted series ever, I desperately need to reread it otherwise I’ll never understand it, with its several confusing events. And I really want to see the end too… T^T

Yumekui Merry – it’s awesome, a unique story, and I want to see how it ends, if it will.

Cahe Detective Club – just to see what happens to the romance between Nana and Touma. :3

Kuroshitsuji – the new arc looks too good.
Natsume Yuujinchou - very heartwarming, it's another light, enjoyable read.

Ones that I’m planning on stopping reading then coming back later in approx. 3-6 months (planning on, anyway);

Saki and Saki: Achiga-hen Episode of Side A – I just want to see Saki meet Teru!! ><

Skip Beat! – I like the newest developments, so I want to see what happens next.

Crepescule (Yamchi)

Ageha 100% – I want to see the ending, which is coming in approx. two more chapters.

Aoiro Toshokan

Chronos -Deep-

Taiyou no Ie

Ai Dano Koi Dano

To Aru Kagaku no Railgun

Shitsuji-sama no Okiniiri

Bleach – let it finish first and I might return to it, one chapter contains too less material. :/

Sensei ni, Ageru – all the same reason…
The Legend of Sun Knight manhwa - it's too good... even if I've already read the Light Novel version... it's too good! ><

Ones that I’m planning on dropping;

Magico – I was planning on dropping it anyway; it’s getting more boring by the week.

Half Prince – I’ve already read the summary of the ending, so meh. I’ll just read the climax then the resolution after the scanlation of the manhwa and the translation of the Light Novel finishes.

The Nanoha series – just ‘cause.

Hayate no Gotoku – I want to finish/catch up to this series one day, but not now.

Hunter x Hunter – it’s good, but it’s sort of lagging. I’ll pick it back up one day. Probably.

Shibatora – meh. I’ve lost interest in this series.

Zettai Karen Children – it’s good, but I didn’t like the newest [where I’m up to]’s developments; plus I don’t support the main pairing. Droppable. Dropped.

Kaichou wa Maid-sama! – also droppable; it’s not so good to the point that I have to read every new chapter. :/

Ao Haru Ride – [nothing but] cheesy, cliché, sweet romance ain’t really for meh. :P

New Prince of Tennis – go read it and you won’t have to ask.

Yada~

Something You Feel When You Just Want Everything to End Already

This post is quite random and contains quite a few different topics... :/

My friend (the one in this post), has been very excited lately because of a scholarship she will be applying for; if you win, you get to go to Japan. Yes, JAPAN!!

She said that I should  go for it, too, but when she said that I was faced with despair...
She said that it was going to be during the summer holidays (that's December-January for you all who lives in the Northern Hemisphere).
But there's still the problem of my visa, and when she reminded me of that certain period of the year, I was pulled back into reality.


There are good and bad things if I go back.
Bad things;
1. My future will be totally ruined; I'll fail school and I won't be able to enter university.
2. My mum and I will no longer have an income.

Elaboration on Point 1; I'm simply too stupid to be able to pass any subjects in a Thai school, excluding English. And if I fail in high school, it also means that I won't be able to enter uni either. So if I move back, it means that it's the end of a successful school life for meh. In the past I've been too stupid to have the least thread of hope that I might be able to pass if I try hard enough, but, no, it looks like it's impossible. My mum says so. ==
Elaboration on Point 2; It's hard to get a job those days, especially when you're 55 and 15 (who's a failure at school).

Good things;
1. My mum won't have to work so hard anymore.
2. There'll be someone to look after the house in Thailand.
3. THE FOOD!
4. And my family; plus the living costs are less over there.

If I don't go back.
Bad things;
1. My mum will most probably die of exhaustion from working every freakin' day.
2. The pressure from our uncle's evilness who is our boss is a lot.
3. Our (rather new) house in Thailand will pretty much be abandoned.

Good things;
1. I'll be able to finish school and most probably enter university.
2. We'll continue having an income.


Over all, it's better if we stay, I guess, since the good things if I stay here are quite significant.
So now I want to stay, so that I can continue school properly.
However there are still unsolved issues about my visa.

My friend's innocent reminder reminded me of the fact, and it just so happened to be today that the application form for the renewal of the visa arrived.

Despite the fact that my friend's house problems are most probably worse than mine, she can still be ever so cheerful and dream on vividly.

We were also talking over Skype the other day, and I commented that I want to stay in Australia now, because of several reasons, and that I hope that Work Experience works out (at that moment in time I was saying that I hope I can tag along with her to that local university).
And she said that "of course it will! If you think it's fun, it will be fun."
I paused slightly at the second part of the sentence. ...huh? 
She thinks that I'll be "fine!".
At that moment in time I started to feel some despair. Does this mean the offer in that post linked above is now non-existent? She sounded like she's cheering me on and that I'll surely have fun. However I didn't mind tagging along with her at all; I thought that it will be awesome, actually. And she surely knows that I'll enjoy it, so does that that offer is now non-existent and I'll just have to do Work Experience myself now...?
But then I guess it'd already flown out of her mind, because the next day she came up to me to tell me about the aforementioned scholarship to Japan; she said that she was going to do it during the Work Experience week.
I didn't bring this up though, after all I was the one asking her for a favour. :/
So in the end, the offer became non-existent (most probably), and my friend might be going to Japan at that time. ^^
And depending on what happens, I might be failing in Thailand or... doing something...


...Ah, I'm back to wanting to die now.
Our percentage of going back to Thailand is over 50%.

I'm so tired of living.
Which is really strange; it makes me wonder why I'm already tired of living after a mere 15 years while some people lived to be over 100...
To compare, it's the kind of feeling you get when you haven't slept for a few days, yet you can't go to sleep. It's similar; I feel so tired of just waking up, eating, working, studying, doing ANYTHING everyday that I just want to enter eternal sleep already. I feel like I need to break free from all this living crap, and I just want to runaway from everything.
Whyyyy am I so weak? T^T
Aaah...

It makes me jealous of how some people had the freedom to do almost anything they want while I'm restricted to only being a failure (if I go back to Thailand). But then again there are more people who are worse of than me, so I should be happy that I still have food on the table and a roof over my head.
But once you're used to something, you begin to take it for granted, only until you realised just how lucky you are to have those in your reach.
Personally, I don't see how someone can be the least bit philanthropic in this world. :/

But then again, everything is my fault. If I'm not so stupid, I wouldn't become a failure when I go to Thailand. If I didn't lack so much drive, I might be able to go for things that I'd already given up on.

Personally, I don't think you can ever have total freedom in life. There will always be something to restrict you in some way or another, no matter who you are.

With several events occurring one after another, I want to just follow my following decisions successfully.

I've already dedicated my life to working and studying, and I sincerely hope I'll stay on track.
I've already decided to just trudge on, no matter how much I hate it.
For the moment I'm not going to attempt suicide, no matter how much I want to commit it.
I've already decided to not care about my own emotions because they are a pain and only gets in the way.
I've already decided to abandon all hope in life because all it does is let you down in the end.
...Yep, I've given up on thinking about the future since it'd end up being a failure either way; I don't want to care anymore. I'm just too tired to care about anything after thinking and planning about so many things.

However I'll still need to keep up a fake happy facade, so then other people won't worry about me unnecessarily. I hope I can successfully act happy on the outside while I've actually already given up on having emotions... hahhh...

With that said, I might as well quit manga and anime already.
I should also just quit blogging and writing and reading, and everything that is unimportant.

Usually I know that I'll come out of a State of Depression one day, but for some reason I think this state might last forever; at least I hope so (but it might not, after all, it's "hope"), because I've realised that life likes to let you down, and I've been disappointed and frustrated and sad and irritated too many times; it's already too tiring to keep up.

Yep, I'm just too tired to continue hoping for something that probably won't ever come.

The Avengers: Entertainment Sure Is Entertaining

I can't remember the last time I went to the movies; it was sometime last year.
I think my last movie was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, but I'm not really sure... it was sometime last year, so it's been approx. 4-6 months since I last saw any movie... (I don't watch TV either)

Anyhow, today I watched The Avengers. It was hilarious. :D The action was alright, but oh, the comedy!! xD

So, yes, it was good. And it put me in a good mood, despite the fact that I wasn't able to do schoolwork because of it... =="

Yeah, well, that's all...
Sorry. T^T

The Question is; Would There be an End to Noblesee's Awesomeness!?? Nope, Apparently Not...

This week's chapter was just released today, Noblesse Chapter 233; go read it at EG Scans, or go to MangaFox if you wish. :3

I laughed my head off this chapter; the end was just hilarious. xD
All hail the authors!!

However we've all faced several cliffhangers for a few weeks in a row already...
Man, this is quite painful.

And Noblesse just had to be so awesome. :P

Well, that's all.

I'm in a good mood since there's no school tomorrow, because of ANZAC Day (It's an Australian Public Holiday...). ><

Day-Offs Actually Just Make me Procrastinate More... Not Surprisingly.

Today is my first day-off from work in 3 (and a bit) weeks~ ^^

Must be why I posted 5 (including this one) posts today, was "higher" than normal, and was strangely talkative~! (Then again, one time I actually made 7 posts in one day! xD)
And I played on Pottermore all day, and read manga, and just chilled~

Yaaaah.... Yada yada yada~ :3

And yerppp, I skipped out on violin practice (can't anyway, accidentally left it at school), Sharemarket Game (includes research and watching the damn share prices), schoolwork (can't be stuffed~) and yeah...

I didn't do much, but I'm in a happy mood (although possibly consequent into a bad one later) at the moment, so I dunt care~~ ^^

To ma' friends, Good Sleep to you all~
To Deevi, Good Day to you~
To my other blog followers, Good What-ever-time-it-is-at-your-place to you all~

そして、

さようなら、も　またね、(< I'm quite convinced that that is either wrong grammar or doesn't make sense at all...)
めいじちゃんより。

Pottormore is Cool, if You Knew... What You're Doing. So, Do You Know What You're Doing?

E-lo~!

I'm sure all of you would have at least heard of Harry Potter, if not like it.
And I'm sure most, if not all, of you know about Pottermore.

I'd describe Pottermore as an interactive online Harry Potter game, almost like a MMORPG (which I really want to try playing at least once, because they're cool...), except maybe not as... complicated, and it's more like a visual novel, where a set of events have already been set out for you.
And the graphics are... well, they look like they're the production of a lot of people's efforts. ^^ Very... well, you have to see for yourself!! :D
Indeed, if you don't have one, go make an account now~!

Some people might get stuck on Chapter 5 of Book 1 on Diagon Alley; you need to zoom in twice (using the up arrow key) then click on that mysterious parchment flying on the ground...
This zoom button is extremely important, yet for some reason I didn't knew about it (?), because somehow I didn't read the instructions at the start (which I discovered on my second way through O.o)... But it's all and good since I'm well into the middle of the first book now, with few difficulties (Like making potions, for starters. Man, it's difficult!! Well, okay, maybe not really. But it takes getting used to, especially if you didn't know what the heck you were supposed to be doing ><)

Before playing Pottormore, if one asked me what house I'd like to be in, I wouldn't know, but I'll probably say Ravenclaw, because Ravenclaw is cool, and it's sort of my style and I sort of like the colours.
However, what house would I be in, is a totally different question. I'd say; any house but Gryffindor. Because I have no bravery, and neither am I reckless or love glory. I am anything but a Gryffindor. My inner personality would befit that of a Slyntherin, however I do like studying, which would put me in Ravenclaw. And I don't exactly do fair play (which is a trait of a Hufflepuff), but I don't do unfair play either (LOL, I wouldn't play at all ><), but I am quite loyal (I think), also a trait of a Hufflepuff...
Anyhow, I got into Slytherin. :3 ...Now I feel sort of evil, which in fact I am, but nevermind...
After you're sorted, the prefect (I think?) gives you a whole load of information about the house you've been sorted into. :3 That was quite interesting too, and I discovered that Merlin was a Slytherin when he was at Hogwarts, and that we "care and look out for each other unlike those Ravenclaws"...
But, nevermind all that, although I sort of want to see what the other houses' messages are. They all seem really interesting, but then if I read them I might have the urge to want to be in that house...
What you are and what you want to be are usually really different for me. :3 (And I usually despise that fact... :/)

I happen to love quizes, especially, or rather, specifically, those "what-type-are-you" quizes. :P
And so far I've faced two in Pottermore; the wand selection and the Sorting. :3
It was quite fun...

Also, if you have a Pottermore account, add me!! It's SpellSpirit2281! :D
(That's actually my second one since I accidentally clicked "buy" one a pet that I didn't want during the Diagon Alley part, and it was too late, so I started a second account instead... ><)

Okash then, I'd better continue playing, since Harry and gang are about to enter the climax of The Philosopher's Stone!!!

Adios~!

Things That You Wish to Happen/Do Are Usually Difficult, Otherwise You Would've Already Done it By Now and Will No Longer Be "Wishing" For it

Lately, or rather, this has been on my mind for quite a long while, but I think I might be better if I put on a facade.

Every time someone says something about life being great or something or the kind, I would passionately [yet emotionlessly, since I'm usually quite tired, another symptom of Depression] argue their, what I personally deemed, ridiculous opinions. :3
Most people happen to not like pessimism, most people like smiles and bright, cheerful personalities. (However I get annoyed when faced with an ultimately 24/7 smiling face of any person =*=)

I'm almost always either annoyed or emotionless, too, which equals in a pretty bad personality, over all. Plus, I rarely care about anyone but myself, a bad trait indeed. (I'm sure that I'd already mentioned that I have a bad personality somewhere, LOL :P)

...I've just realised something while thinking about what to write next.
I am extremely narrow-minded; I get irritated easily when people contradicts me/get things wrong, etc., I dislike other religions that is not my own (and things related to it), I... yeah, and there are things which I can't really think up from the top of my head at the moment... :)
I should be more open-minded... Now I know that I should be more open-minded, maybe I won't be as moody anymore, LOL. :3 I love it when I realise something about myself, more so if it's a trait. Because I hate ignorance, and I [secretly] pride in my non-self-ignorance. ^^

Okay, I got off-tracked.
I was going to talk about facades. And smiles.
Those annoying, painful, bothersome things calls smiles.
Every time I think of "smiles", "fun" or "cheer", I would feel the urge to sigh and just lay dead asleep on ma' bed...
Cheerful isn't a part of my personality. It can be sometimes when I'm high, but only then, and it would be short still.... or maybe it's that I'm actually really cheerful, but Depression is preventing me from being so? O.o That's a possibility...

What would forcing myself to act cheerful, forcing myself to react normally and maybe positively, forcing myself to smile all the time, etc, give a consequent of?
Would it bring a negative one and just makes me stressed and extremely tired?
Would it bring a good one and rolled on to become my real personality?

I doubt any of them since I find it hard to believe that I would actually accomplish such an amazing feat by someone with a... personality like mine....

Well, I'd think being open-minded would help a lot though. :)
Like as Deevi had once said [typed, actually], people annoy you since they don't follow your rule book.
I already knew that, but since I was a stubborn prat, I refused to let anyone not follow my rule book in my presence, despite already knowing that. xP
But being annoyed is also quite energy-consuming, and it's quite detrimental to success, so let's just...
...be a bit more open-minded, or in this case, open-booked. x)
(Yes, I know, terrible pun, not funny... :P)

Mata ne~

From,
Mage-chan~

So, Maybe There is a Happy Solution... As If... Unlikely...?

You know how I've been annoying you guys, ranting on and on [continuously and with a passion] about something as trivial as Work Experience? :P

My friend said she would ask whether I could come with her to same place she was going to, which was a local university. She was going to simply tag along with the Japanese professor there.
I was faced with a feeling of joy, but then I remembered that I shall not be too happy, as life never fails to make you suffer~ :)

However since Work Experience (or rather, Work Education) was one of the main causes of my Depression, I'd be quite happy if I can find a good, happy solution to that...
...but if the answer comes back as a no, from whoever my friend may be asking permission from, then I'd most likely guess that another State of Depression is going to come back~ ;)

And then it's back to the same old spot, that uncertain, dread-the-future, hang-in-there-don't-commit-suicide-yet spot...

As a result of what I'd stated in the What the Hell!? I'm so Annoyed and I Still Hate Unknowns post, I'm eagerly suppressing my hopes down to the lowest points possible.
Yes, I'd better keep it non-existent until it's been confirmed either yes or no...

But then again, my friends say if I believe it will happen, then it will happen. However that is ultimately impossible. No matter how much I willed it to happen, it may not happen if they don't allow it to happen. :/

All in all, it's best to not hope anything otherwise my State of Depression will just be worse, in the end...

I Apologise, and It's Life I [Secretly] Blame

I have a deep hatred for life, it seems, since I like to blame everything on it, but I think most of it is probably because of my own fault. :P
(Plus I'm sure any people like to blame things on life, and they may not hate life as much as I do... may not.)

Now, to the main point of this post I make;-
Sorry that my last few posts were so short; I dunt have time to write too much lately.
Maybe going to school, working everyday, having an extra-curricular subject like the violin, doing an extra subject from others like Japanese, being a part of the Student Council Committee, participating in something like the Sharmarket Game, writing a one-chapter-must-be-at-least-7000-words-long-and-must-update-regularly story, and having hobbies like blogging, writing, reading 'n' watching ain't such a great idea. :3

But you see, everything is my fault. It was my choice to continue learning the violin, my choice to take up Japanese, my choice to enter the Student Council Committee, my choice to participate in the Sharemarket Game, my choice to write Four Leaf Clover and publish it online, and it's my choice to have such time-consuming hobbies. :3
So practically, everything is myyyy fault. x)

So then, I hope I'll get to write another post soon!

Sayonara,
Mage-chan~

The Stupidity of Some People...

Australians.

Australian students, more specifically.

How people can be so utterly stupid amuses and annoys me in many ways.

We're currently studying trigonometry in Maths class at the moment, just like, Sine, Cos, and Tan.
Most of it is easy. Some of it are not so easy, but I wouldn't call them difficult. Not at all. You just have to think a little; the answer is smack right in their faces, yet they can't see it!!!

Why can't people who maths problems when everything is so effing easy!!
You have a formula; USE IT!!!

I mean, like, you get given a problem, you get given a formula...
WHAT CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND!???
YOU USE THE FORMULA!! YOU REPLACE THE PRONUMERALS BY NUMBERS!!
THEN YOU JUST USE YOUR DAMN CURSED CALCULATOR!!

One of my friends pissed me off by asking what to do when she got passed the stage where you substitute the numbers with the pronumerals.
I stared at her.
Are you serious? Are you freakin' serious? There are two numbers. One is written on top of the line, and one is written down the bottom. You divide the top number by the bottom. Can't you understand so simple? 
I... was seething.

It's already been a couple weeks since we started doing trigonometry, after all.

All this just makes me feel the more stupid. :/

How Innocent Some People Can Be

I have a friend, whose innocence is quite high despite being one year older than me. :)
Her innocence usually ends in me and a few other friends cracking up laughing, because of her ignorance.

During music camp, we had been sitting next to our usual friends during breakfast...
N-sempai is a grade 11 student who plays percussion.
I was sitting next to N-sempai, who was sitting next to E-kun, one of my other friends (who is obsessed with Vocaloid) who plays the Alto Saxophone and Baritone Saxophone.
Apparently E-kun had said that he would never talk to N-sempai again (something happened between them, dunno what), but he was still talking to her.
She said, 'E-kun has this weird going on and off thing.' As in, sometimes he would talk to her, sometimes he wouldn't.
T-kun, our other friend, 'You see, you turn him off and you also turn him on.'
There was a short silence before people started cracking up laughing, me included.
My innocent friend, 'What? What did he just say?'
We repeated to her and she made this utterly confused expression. :3

There are many other instances, but I don't particularly enjoy talking about this sort of subject, so let's end that today... :3

BAKUMANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! I Bid You Farewell.

Waahhh!!! TTOTT

It ended.
The chapter that came out today along with most other Jump manga, that was the last chapter of Bakuman. T^T

Sorry, I'm at a lost for words.

What the hell!? I’m so Annoyed, and I Still Hate Unknowns

Or rather, unknowns are something that I extreme hate and despise from the bottom of my heart. And I’ll probably continue to hate it for the rest of my cursed life that I wish never came into existence.

Today my mum told me that the person she’d asked to do all the visa stuff said that she won’t have to do the English test, and it’s cheaper, since she will be renewing it, not applying for a new one. Then she goes on to say that the boss of the restaurant (since we’re going for an Employer-Sponsored type of Working Holiday visa) has to sign some documents, and that’s where the problem comes into play as that certain boss was the reason we couldn’t get a PR (permanent resident) in the first freakin’ place.

She said that the guy who was doing this for us will continue to do whatever he does until things are more definite.

At first I was like, what da hell? You said you’ve freakin’ “decided”, and now you’re saying that it’s no longer certain? Da hell?

Then I visibly, openly cried out in horror. While screaming in my mind, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I HAVE TO DO WORK FREAKIN’ EXPERIENCE!!!???? I WANT TO DIEEEE!!! OH GOD, SOMEONE COME KILL ME NOW SO THAT I WON’T HAVE TO DO ITTTT!!!! HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

And oh-yoh, that was a trigger for my current, renewed, ultra-shiny State of Depression.

Okay, now I have to change my mindset all over again. The already-blurry future path just split back into two again, and now I’ll have to walk back the path that I’d already taken back to the start and prepare for the future journey that could go down either, for better or worse.

Damn it all. I want to die. I want to. Freakin’. Die.

Hah, then again, maybe it’s the misfortune coming back now, as I’d mentioned in the This is a Life ChangingDecision post, not exact title.

Firstly life makes me happy then told me that it was actually a lie. (….maybe I should be blaming my mum, and not life? O.o) I was so happy with the fact that I didn’t have to do Work Experience anymore, and bam, of course I’ll have to do it.

The closer work experience gets, the more I want to commit suicide to just stop all this frustrating situation where I can’t run away already. The more life goes on, the more I begin to loathe it. The more I loathe it, the more depressed I get, the more I want to die.

But logically and technically speaking, the more afraid I am of work experience, the more I should do it. But knowing that still obviously doesn’t make me want to do it, as I still really don’t want to do it. Which then in turns then mean that I should really do it.

If I continue talking it would end up in a circle, so I’ll drop that matter.

I don’t know whether what is making me wanting to die is Depression (as in the illness) or not, but I do not care, because it’s my mind that’s thinking and I just WANT TO DIE!!

AND WHY AM I MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF SOMETHING LIKE WORK EXPERIENCE!??

Damn the world; I want to die before I graduate.

Actually I said that I want to die to one of my friends once and told him to kill me (half-jokingly) and he said to keep living and he’d kill me after we all graduate high school.

I wonder if he still remembered what he said.

I need to find a gun somewhere so that he can shoot me with it… :3

If the only reason that I’m thinking of dying is because of Depression, then I must give an applaud to Depression since it can really convince and brainwash people well. Because no matter what, I feel like I really want to die. At the moment I can find no logical reason that would prevent me from doing so.

Usually I know that what I’m thinking is being caused by Depression (but I would still think about them, despite knowing that, because I wouldn’t be able to not, but still, I was aware). And since I was aware, I would be able to pick up the fact that want I’m thinking is totally wrong and is being caused by Depression.

Yet at the moment I saw no reason (that I can really care about) at this moment in time.

Or maybe my Depression level went up? I’d better go take the BDI again. (About the BDI, check my “Apparently,Pessimism Leads to Depression x)” post that was created some time back in either February or March.) 

However, with that said, I’m quite sure I’ll come out of my State of Depression soon.

Damn, it came at the worse time, too. I have so much stuff to do during the weekends (Finish reading To Kill A Mockingbird, Italian homework, Japanese homework, Sharemarket research, practice violin, write Four Leaf Clover Chapter 33, clean some useless stuff out from house, all in under 10 hours across two days – and I tell you, Sharemarket researching.. will take up a lot of time) and it’s all going to be ruined by damn depression.

And so, if I want to get rid of depression I’d have to get rid of all thoughts of Work Experience off my mind, and that’d be hard to do since I feel like it’s always mentally spitting me in the face, laughing eagerly and mockingly at me. ==

Good day to you all, and I also wholeheartedly hope that you all have a good, successful life and that I will cease to exist soon.

From,

Mage-chan~

Change of Design as of April 2012

Holaaa~

It's been... exactly one month since I last changed the design! The "Warmth Momoiro" theme was first seen on the 19th of March some time before 7.44pm. It is now the 19th of April, not 7.44pm, but who cares. :P
I deem it is time to change it, as I was getting bored of seeing the same design on my blog over and over again. :P

So yes...!
Open your eyes to this change of appearance!

P.S. The design this time is a little rushed, mind you, but I don't have much time, so let's just leave it be (the background's a little too dark for my liking). Off to work now then~

Okay... Negativity, Deevi!??

Congrats, your name was in my blog post title!!
And in the post itself too, of course, Deevi, see I just typed it. :3

This post is on the same subject as the "negativity" post, so that's why it's named that, btw...
(But to blog about blog followers and blog posts... man, I feel like I have no life... :P)

That... uhh, ...friend I mentioned back in this post, the "negativity (yet not about negativity)" post?

He suddenly stopped replying, so I'm sorta worried now... did I say something wrong?
I thought I would wait a little since he usually takes around half a day to reply to my messages, but it's already been a week...
Should I send another one to him? :/

Maybe I accidentally fried his brain since that last message was extra long??
I did make sure to use simple English sentences though... maybe it wasn't that simple-sounding after all!??

I'm also sure it was sent through, since hotmail says so...
(Can I trust its words???)

Well, Japanese schools are much harder than ours... maybe he's busy studying? (He doesn't look like the studying type but if he failed then he'd have to repeat the year so no one would want to slack off...)
Maybe he grew tired of my ranting??
There wasn't much to talk about anyway... (plus communication is difficult, in terms of language barriers.)
I've heard he say two times in his reply messages now that he wants to come back to Australia. :P
And guess what the most successful "conversation" we had was about? Manga, OF COURSE!!! xD

(This guy always end his sentences with several exclamation marks or nothing at all, just saying... :P It's amusing, really...)

Oh well.
I'll just send him another message and see what happens...

HOWEVERRRR!!
With that said, I checked ma' inbox, and he just replied to my last message. :) It took him 9 days.
It's not that long, but it felt long, which is quite natural if you're waiting for replies.

He said that he was sorry and he had been busy...
Urr, but, 9 days...?
Isn't that a bit... too long?
Meh, nevermind...

Problem's already solved, so this post is once again another pointless one.
Then again, if you think about it, all the posts are pointless...

When You're Busy, You Feel Like You Lose a Lot of Precious Time Oh-so-Quickly

Ha-lo~!

I just got back from my school-issued Music Camp, where only students who are in choir, does vocal, or does instrumental music can attend, in short, only Music Students can come.
It was rather short for a camp, two-days and one night long. However it was a good length of time for a camp that has you do nothing but practice and play music. (Oh, there was the time we went down to the nearby beach for some random games/activities, but that doesn't really count...)

I also took this opportunity to tell my violin teachers (who happened to be one of my favourite teachers, 'cause he's just awesome), that I will be moving to Thailand. He was not jumping for joy at my news...

Anyhow, I didn't get time to blog about this beforehand on Sunday to tell you all that I won't be able to blog on Monday and maybe Tuesday... :/ Sorry.
But I'm back now, and so is school. :/
Nah, that's not really that cool. School, I mean. Too much stuff to do, and I don't really have to study that hard anymore, because my grades won't mean anything.

We only stayed from Monday morning to Tuesday afternoon, but it felt a lot longer than that. Probably because  the schedule was sort of tight, it being a camp and all.
I managed to get past the halfway-mark in To Kill A Mockingbird, but I'm still quite behind in my researching of the Sharemarket. I have to finish reading all those PDFs I downloaded from the ASX website, then start researching those companies to consider what other shares to buy (then sell), because you must buy or sell shares at least 4 times to win the friggin' competition.
After camp finished and we all left for home, I went to work straight afterwards. I arrived home at approx. 4.45pm and proceeded to eat some food and drink some coffee in 15 minutes. ==
Then I went to work.

For some reason it felt like I'd been away for like, a week.
I was only away from work for one day and it felt like I'd missed out on a lot.
I was only away from home for one night yet it felt like it'd been so long since I last slept in those beds of mine.

Aah... I guess it was because we did quite a lot, and I was walking around most of the time, something which I do not usually do. My daily routine consists of school, computer, food + coffee, work, computer, sleep, then same thing over and over again, most likely. I tend to not do anything else different, and I rarely exercise except for all that walking around campus. :/ But that's already become routine.

I woke up on Monday morning aching all over, and I'm blaming all that useless running around (I was ordered to do it, but I did it without too much whining... it will be my last camp here after all) on the cursed beach. :)

BTW, I went to school and to work the next day (that's today, actually) as well... Now I'm back to my daily routine. :3

Actually, you'd always feel like you lost a lot of time, even if you were a great time manager, you might stil feel that going to the toilet wastes so much time that you can't afford to do it anymore. :3
I'm starting to feel like that...

Since I won't be able to work once I move to Thailand, I've decided to work a lot and save up (now I regret about deciding to go on the Sydney trip... oh well), so am now planning on working 6 days a week.
The only problem now is finding time to study, do homework... and most of all, time to blog, since blogging takes up more time than homework (generally).
And not to forget MANGA READING TIME!! Although that's not really important. And my story-writing time, too...

Hah. Busy, busy, busy, I wish I have a time machine.

The [Manga] World is Ending - It's CHANGING!!! New Generation!!! Gyaaaaahhhhh!!!

Pure exaggeration. ==

You see, two of my favourite series seems to be hinting their near-ends with their newer chapters.
Them being Bakuman and Detective Conan.

Bakuman is alright, since it's not that long, but I've been watching and reading Detective Conan since I was 6-freakin'-years-old!!!
And now it looks like it's actually ending!? Wtf!?? Maybe it's just my imagination, but, Shinichi already confessed his love, and there are lots of new characters that seems so very suspicious, so all that is left is the defeat of the Black Organisation, followed by Conan turning back into Shinichi, then Shinichi... confesses his real identity (or not, if he got the antidote back).
Oh, well... I'm ranting for no reason. Aoyama Gosho-sensei-sama can end DC if he wishes... just end it good! Don't ruin a 800-chapters-long series!
*People on the internet are saying that he should end the series on Chapter 1000... :3 That'd be really cool.*

It's almost certain now that Bakuman is going to end either next chapter or the chapter after - some time very soon. Since it's... time. All complications have been resolved, the main characters are all happy... *sigh*
Plus, if they aren't doing so it'll be a bit weird, because of various factors involving the storyline in Bakuman, and what the main characters said like "we should be allowed to end our series when we want", "it's the quality, not the quantity", etc....
Foreshadowing the ending much. Hey, who knows, maybe they used that to indirectly shout into the Editorial's Department's faces? 8D LOL.

Aaah... I'm crying. After Mahou Sensei Negima!, here goes Bakuman, and probably Detective Conan...

Triggered. Returned. Welcome Back, Depression-dono~

We have a lot of regulars, since our food is awesome.

There's this group of certain regulars that come every Friday and sits on the same table every time (they insist).
They are a bunch of annoying folks. At least one of them are. I'm going to call him M.

He had once told me that I should smile more since I don't smile so often, and that I look attractive when I smile. That last comment was actually what made me reluctant to smile, but let's not worry about that. (I have this strange... refusal to do anything girlish. ...and trying to look attractive is very girlish, sort-of... stereotypically, anyway.)
I smiled for him anyway though, although it was obviously forced. (maybe not that obvious, but...)

And today, he repeated himself again, because it's his hobby to annoy people.
"Can't you smile?" he'd wondered. "Look, follow your friend's example here," he then added, gesturing to my friend who had been standing next to him for whatever reason. My friend then flashed a grin at me cheerily.
I was like, "..." Hell no. =*= But I quickly flashed a smile at him anyway to humour him a little; hopefully he'd stop bothering me and just say what he wants already.
He went on, "See, even your mum smiles all the time." He points to my mum. I could just tell without looking that she was smiling brightly.
Stop complaining you #$%^&!!! You can't expect someone suffering from Depression to smile ever so often!! That's like... asking a cheerful person to cry!!
However I did not say that out loud. As I didn't really want to announce that I have Depression, yet I was extremely tempted to shout that to his face since he was making me feel... I dunno, what... frustrated?

By the way, that sort of triggered my Depression since it came flying back after its vacation of me being ultra busy and not having time to think about pointless things like life.
I think it's also the fact that I'm going to be moving back to Thailand. I've been avoiding saying this since it's really... something that I don't want to say, but maybe I am sad to leave this place after all.
Once I really leave for Thailand, I don't know when I'll be able to visit Australia again. :/ I mean, there's school and stuff and I really have no intentions of going on a holiday in Australia. Nooo.
I don't mind being alone or having no friends, but I don't want to lose anything... no? =*=
Geh.

...Maybe I really should just commit suicideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Ahahaha, as if. I'd never have enough courage to do that anyway.

It says here that,

"Painful conditions always pass, both mental and physical. Life always changes, and better times will come back inevitably.

Do not decide to harm yourself for a problem that will pass."

That's what it said. (You know what, that website annoys me quite a lot. =*=)
...it will pass? You're saying that a problem will always pass?
Oh my god, reading through that website pissed me off quite badly. I am now in quite a bad mood.

So I will tune out. Check out that website and tell me what you think about it... although you might not be able to give such a good answer if you've never felt like committing suicide before... Hmm... :/

Maybe a reason I'm annoyed is because that it's telling me all those things that I already know like "life will always change" and other random craps and reasons to NOT commit suicide, yet all of those craps and reasons are the very reason that caused me Depression in the first place and wants me to commit suicide!??

Hmm... I don't really know.
My Depression sorts of makes me annoyed at almost everything, too...
Or I may just be... ahem, PMS-ing, although the last time I read this it was not that time of the month yet I was still annoyed at it...

Anyhow, I will stop writing now since I am too annoyed to write senselessly!
And I'm sure you all wouldn't want to read a post full of senselessness!!
Because it would be senseless, and it wouldn't make any sense!!!

So then, sayonara!!!!

This is a Life Changing Decision :3 Indeed, it Changes My Life.

Yesss siree!
It's been confirmed! It was confirmed on the 12th of April, at approximately 5.12pm...
I will be moving back to Thailand by November of this year!
And yes, that was two days ago.

You may not have noticed it, but I was in quite the happy mood in the last four posts.
That was probably because of this news.

It's not that I actually want to go to Thailand, but I didn't not want to go either. :/

However this also means that I will not have to do Work Experience, something that has been worrying me endlessly and making me feel despair despite its best intentions.
So that is good.
Now I'll just... have to worry about school over there. I'm bracing myself for some studying torture, yes.

I was glad that it was finally confirmed, since I'd now know where to focus my daily activities and future planning towards. That was the reason for my happiness.
I now can discard all thoughts about Work Experience and Set Plan Interviews and all that Year 10 Work Education crap, and focus on getting ready for Thailand.
I need to clear out all of my possessions, too... *sigh* There are a lot of things to do... :/
I've already worked out what I would do with my big collection of manga, so that's fine...
There are so many things that need trashin'!!

Now, you blog readers that know me in the hideous thing that is real life, you have permission to tell this news to a total number of zero persons.
Understood? :3 *evil gleam*
All is cool if you do.
If not, then all is not cool but it's not like I can do anything about it, LOL.

However with that news, I'm starting to feel insanely lucky...
I didn't want to do Work Experience, and I didn't get to. Never in my life have I yet to come across troublesome hurdles or anything of the kind. My life has been a breeze through, as I just do easy stuff like homework and assignments.
...I was born with things that some doesn't have and things that some people wish so badly for,  good health (mostly), both parents; nice parents, employed parents, stable-jobs-employed parents, an education, etc...
...Feeling that I am insanely lucky however leads me to thinking that one day insane misfortune will inevitably befall upon me as compensation for all the luck I'm getting.
My life can't be a breeze all through the way, can it now?
I wouldn't think so... Hell no... Probably not... ...Hopefully yes...
Because it'd be bad since I think I'd end up in a wreck otherwise if I run into something big... since I've always lead an easy life before, I wouldn't be immune to any trouble, you know...

~
It's going to be even harder since it's Thailand. I need to search up on how Thailand does things.
And there are so many more thieves and cons in Thailand... I think. It gives me that sort of vibe, anyways.
Yesss, because Thai people are smart and there are many evil people in the world, so, smart + evil = !!!!.

I have no idea what I should do after graduating now, as I see no future for me in competitive Thailand.
Who knows, I might not even manage to graduate from Senior High School.
I might have to repeat Grade 10 three times at least or something... :/

I'm actually not sure whether I'm glad for this new change or not.
I'm really really glad that I do not have to do Work Experience and Australia's weird curriculum, but now my future looks soooo dim.
*sigh*
The words "failure" is singing itself to death in ma' mind~

Hm... Maybe I should try being optimistic?
But then what if I become optimistic but ends up failing, despite my optimism?
Nooooooooooooooooo, I refuse to become optimistic otherwise, with that possibility in mind. :/

Information Overload; Some Sort of Plan Should be Involved in Writing a Story

For the first time in my life, I am thinking of doing some planning for one of my stories.
No, I plan to plan everything on this story, because at the moment it is my favourite out of all approx. 30 stories I am simultaneously writing. :3
(There are many dropped ones, hiatus ones, etc, too, though. And most of them are stories that I'll never ever put on the internet as they are only for my entertainment. :3)

Because to me, Four Leaf Clover was a failure. My failure. Rather, the story itself wasn't a failure since I got a good reaction from the FPCom readers, but what I did to it made it a failure.

I never plan out any of my stories.
I usually would just think up of a starting plot or idea, a few characters, then start writin'!

And I now wished a little that I had planned out Four Leaf Clover at least a little. Usually when I write, I would slap new ideas into the story along the way.
Even if my writing works best that way as I usually come up with good ideas as I write, it can bring a bit of a mistake. What I'd added into the story later may not mix well with the start or something that I had said at the start. Four Leaf Clover had this problem.
It has been over a year since I'd started Four Leaf Clover, and I forget what I'd written down before. But then when I re-read back, I realised with some horror that what I said at the start contradicts with what happens recently. I was worried that the readers might notice. New readers who reads the chapters all the way through will probably notice it, old readers who waits for new chapters probably won't. Hopefully.
(And don't ask what the mistake was; I'd already forgotten. I remember worrying about it when I re-read the first few chapters though... O.o)

It was worse since Four Leaf Clover had potential, I just knew. If only I didn't stuff it up, it could've been way way better than it is. I feel that I own something to the readers and the story itself. I've become attached  to the characters already anyway, since I've been with them for over a year already.

And so I do not want to make the same mistake all over again.
At the moment my focus are on 3 different stories, with Four Leaf Clover as one of them. It never leaves my "focus", mind you. There are people waiting for me to update. >.>
2. My World, Your World and The World - an action mecha supernatural story, I guess. Supernatural powers are known to exist in this universe, our earth in 2047 AD. The main character becomes a member of a world-wide organisation sponsored by the UN that researches, controls, investigates, etc, crimes and criminal that are related to the supernatural.
3. The Absurdly Powerful Student Council. Literally. - a school life supernatural comedy story. Set in a country where there is a school that keeps its secret within its huge impenetrable walls; it was also widely known as the most prestigious school in the world and the entrance exam seems to be insanely hard. Kiriha, the main character, suddenly gets a "mandatory" invitation to this school after meeting its Student Council one day. She goes there and was told that this school was created to house kids who have supernatural powers, magical powers, are non-human beings, etc, and that she was also one, without knowing it. The Student Council were made up of only the strongest students, so the title rings truth.

At the moment I'm attempting to plan out My World, Your World and The World, but I seriously do not know where to start. There's so much to write about, which also means that there's so much to plan of!
Seeing that it was set in a different universe (similar to the current world, but still different), I decided to draw out the map of the setting, but that failed... Then I decided to list the characters, but that... sort of failed as well.
And so I went on to creating some cases for the team to solve. I instantaneously came up with three, and am  glad that I am planning them out before writing as it will likely give off the best product. ...probably.
However this sort of story can go on forever; it sounds episodic, and episodic stories seems to last long (not that it will be popular or good long, but that the story itself can be long) as they can really go on as the author gives them some new problem each new episode. But I don't really want this story to be episodic, so I'll need to think up some sort of ending... but I can't really come up with any. Not at the moment anyway.

And I need to start planning for The Absurdly Powerful Student Council. Literally., too...

And I am planning on planning for the future of Four Leaf Clover, and just so you know, it will be a long long road...
I have no intention of ending it any time soon, as there's a lot more that I can still write about... there are quite the amount of characters after all... and I can write four times more than a normal story, because the main character leads 4 lives!!!

Happy Holidays: Fun Water Festival

Dear all, Happy Thai New Years Day~!!! 8D

:)
It just so happened to land on a Friday this time, but every year April 13~15 are the Thai New Year Days where people in Thailand has a country-wide water fight. x) This country-wide water fight is called the Songkrarn Festival, I think that's how you spell it in English...
Isn't Thailand cool?
It's the extremely hot season in Thailand right now, so they're just trying to cool down by having a three-days long water fight with any strangers that happens to walk pass them.

Any business people or tourists will also have to be careful not to walk along the streets otherwise they'll get wet...

OT 79: The Same, As Funny as Evaaaa~ x'D

This chapter was a filler, not that I mind fillers, especially fillers like this one.

I like it more than non-fillers actually!!!
Because they are more funny and Kenkawa is cool!
And he'd usually only appear in fillers since he's not attending Midorigaoka.

I heard that next chapter there's going to be some Takaomi x Mafuyu romance, so I'm looking forward to it!!
Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

:3 LOL, fangirl scream.

The Words of A Supposed "Mass Murderer" Holds A Lot of Truth!

I now realised how right Yagami Light was...!!

I will now admit right here, even if I did not like the character Yagami Light that much since his death was pathetic (and I like cool characters), that I, I, have absolutely nothing against his way of thinking.
No, nothing. :)
None that I can find right now anyway. Maybe I will sometime in the future, who knows. But none right now.

So what if he wants to kill people? He was doing it for the greater good! This is how big people think!
You see, if he never picked up the Death Note, or if L and his successors never existed, Yagami Light would have done many, many great things in his short life! Many, many great things!
And he wouldn't have died a pathetic death, making him a likeable character to me as well! :D = Bonus pointsss.

One of Yagami Light's saying was something along the lines of "I do not need troublesome things like feelings. People before me failed because they had them."
And now I really understood!

Two days ago I woke up feeling groggy as usual.
My mind was on blank mode. And on that day, I only slacked off for 30 minutes when I went off to read Four Leaf Clover, in which the action made no sense at all. I mean, I was wasting time... reading my own story? Reading it, despite knowing full well what's going to come next? Why am I so... egotistical??
That aside, I discovered that me approaching things that I'd been procrastinating with an emotionless approach works very well. I did not procrastinate.
Same for yesterday and today, although there were periods of time such as now that I checked my Blogger Dashboard for other people's Blog updates or any follow ups to comments and updated manga to open new tabs up on, so the next time I come on the computer [when I have free time] I can read them. :)

So in short, Yagami Light was right. Emotions only get in the way of success.

Emotions are totally unnecessary for a successful life (arguably).
And now, I will start talking about things that are probably on your minds. What about happiness? You can't have a happy life without emotions.
Hah! That's where my geniusness comes in! :P LOL, I was joking. I have no genius in meh.

I'll use the emotionless way to gain a million dollars then..!! It's HAPPY TIME UNTIL I DIEEE!!!
Wheeee~!
After all, money can buy happiness. x)
Besides, I can have rest periods for happiness and leisure through my life, it's not like I'll turn into an emotionless brick forever-non-stop until I obtained a million dollars. :/
(That'd probably be impossible anyway. I'd be damned crazy and I'll have no friends. That's a little too depressing, so I'll pass.)

You see, everything works out in the end... unless I don't end up successful, then let's scratch life and let me go commit suicide. :)

P.S. Talking about "success", let me direct you to read this post. xD

Detective Conan Chapter 812

New arc~

What caught me straight away was the appearance of Kudo Yuusaku, who happened to be one of my favourite characters~!!! xDD
Although it was only a flashback... T^T
The parents are really awesome. They should appear more...

This case looks interesting, too, unlike the last case where I sort of had to push myself to read.
...I might have not read it if it weren't for the Haibara x Subaru scenes everyone on the forums were hyping over. >.>

Andddddd, god dammmmiittt!!! I just read some spoilers!!
And they're big spoilers!
Maybe I shouldn't have read them!!
Dear the ones who read this series, what I came across was that Subaru will find out Conan's true identity in the next chapterrr~!! !!!

Anyhow, it was a good chapter, better than some of the newer ones. :)

Although I don't like the new art style, but I guess it's alright...

"Gyaahhh!" I Screamed as I Saw That Noblesse Got Updated

Not many series can make me enter fangirl mode, as I don't particular like being grouped up as a fangirl, since I'm not that extreme (and when you think "faingirl" you immediately think "extreme")... :/ ...I don't think...

Most epic it was, Noblesse Chapter 321.
The good guys pawned all. :) What we allll loooove to see~

So, Fake vs. Real, which would win? The Real of course!!! It's been a while since Seira showed her epicity... she doesn't get in action much. :/ And she only got a little this time round, too...

And the next chapter looks even more interesting!!! Franky is going to kill all of them! Well, maybe not kill since he sorts of needed the information from those people, but... there's no wayyyy that he'll lose!!

I Ended Up Doing What the Enemy Wants, No Surprise

Responding to my own [latest] post, I did end up procrastinating, something that I was totally expecting myself to do...
I didn't have enough will. I really should put my mind to something properly.
...I really should. :/

And so, with that said, don't expect a post for a couple of days as I will try to prevent myself from doing unnecessary things until next week arrives. FYI,
I didn't do anything yesterday since it was my day off and I was not going to ruin it.
I didn't do anything today because I got sucked into a certain Pokemon DS game and it was already time for my coffee break, so I gave up doing anything.
Now I will read manga and finish off this post, then go do the more important tasks. :)
(Then work... then tasks... then sleep... then tasks... then shower, then coffee break... then tasks... then work...  then tasks... then sleep...)

Now that I've made this announcement I won't have to worry about ma' blog readers anymore, although I think I still will. :/
Hmm...
Oh, also, the above notice doesn't include the next post which will be about a certain manhwa. :)

Ja na~

I Have Said This Before And I Will Say it Again: "Procrastination is An Enemy to All of Mankind"

I didn't say it on ma' blog, but I have said it... twice. On Facebook.
It was only a single sentence so it wasn't worth posting. Oh, maybe I should add that to the list of quotes I like on the right hand side of the page there. :)

My Holiday Tasks that I posted in... another post earlier... I've been procrastinating all of them except for No. 11. :P I did a little of No. 5 and No. 8, but that's little. I attempted to to No. 10 but that requires time and effort, of which I do not feel like giving. ...not really. :/

My Holiday Tasks:

1. Redo Italian script for assignment, due next term 
2. Make the Italian powerpoint for the assignment plus practice speaking (the script in #1)
3. Read To Kill A Mockingbird (for next term's English's Novel Study)
4. Look at Obentou Unit 8 (Japanese, starting that next term)
5. Forward with the Sharemarket Game (for information about the Sharemarket Game, read this)
6. Help Kaa-chan (I mean my mother) with IELTS tests (she needs to pass this to get another visa)
7. Go on Brisbane Trip with tomodachi and do Purikura (we planned on this last term, hopefully we'll get to carry it out...)
8. Progress with Four Leaf Clover Chapter 33 (my original story on Fictionpress.com)
9. Re-learn juggling (I've got my hands on really good juggling balls so I was planning on finally mastering the skill)
10. Attempt to master orchestra songs, remember the scales learnt in lessons; PRACTICE.
11. Catch up in Natsume Yuujinchou anime. Start Gintama and Full-Metal Alchemist.

And just now I finished No. 1... :D Yes, good, good.

I shall now do No. 2. But since I am writing this then that means that I am not doing it. I am actually procrastinating it by blogging!!!

I am also planning to do some of No. 3, then do No. 10...

AFTER THAT IT'S COFFEEEEEE.

Then I'm going to do No. 5. And once I've grown tired of doing No. 5, I'm going to do No. 8 as it is something I enjoy doing and won't get bored easily. :3

And I'm going to do No. 8 until it's time for work. After work I'll continue doing No. 5, then back to No. 8.

Finish the day of by leisure reading before I go to bed.

Perfect~!

No. 4, No. 6, No. 9 and most importantly No. 11 - that I happen to be doing the most - can wait until later.

I'll probably do No. 4 tomorrow, and No. 9 whenever. No. 6... I don't think I'll ever get to do that, and I'm trying to put off No. 11 as far away as possible, but failing. ==

No. 7... I actually don't really care what happens... :/ The decision's not really up to me anyway.

...now let's see if I really will do what I have planned....

To Aru Kagaku no Railgun: Misaka... You Are More Than a Little Cool

I just read the newest chapter of the manga. :3

It is EPIC, mind you...

Someone is picking on Misaka Mikoto, our very awesome main character.
I know most of you probably haven't read this, but I feel the need to say something about it, because the tension in the storyline if extremely high at the moment, if not into outer space. :3

There's this new antagonist that just appeared who goes to the same school as Misaka. <3
She has the ability to brainwash people!! 8D
Of course, that's not good, but....

Anyone who has yet to read To Aru Kagaku no Railgun or To Aru Majutsu no Index should try them out, just for the sake of it. :) It's got quite a few different versions...
The very original and main version of this verse or series is the To Aru Majutsu no Index Light Novels. There are also several Side Stories. There's an ongoing manga, and To Aru Majutsu no Index has two anime seasons, I think. Well, it has at least one... And a couple OVAs as well.
Then there's To Aru Kagaku no Railgun, the spin-off of the original To Aru Majutsu no Index, basing the story on a different character. And I like this other character, namely Misaka Mikoto. I happen to not really like the main characters in the original story and dropped it a while back, but am thinking of watching the anime... Anyway, To Aru Kagaku no Railgun has two anime seasons, plus two OVAs, I think.

Noblesse 230: Cliffhangers Results in a Most Suffered Week For Fans... However That Does Not Include Me

...because I am a patient person. :) xP

Plus, there's really nothing I can do about it, you know?
(Okay. I just got a really strong sense of deja vu. I think I've wrote something similar to this post before...? Maybe...)

Last chapter ended with a seriously agony-inducing cliffhanger. I congratulate you, authors-nim.
Finally after like, what, 4-5 chapters?, the two main badass overpowered characters get to the scene of the battle... And that's my words. Exactly. They get to the scene of the battle just right at the very last panel of the chapter. =="
To me, seeing those two pawn every living being there is something worth living for. :3 ...maybe...

Well, I'm sure that next chapter will be a good one, because I like it when the peoples asked W questions. Then they'll probably fight the next or next after next chapter...
Noblesse moves a little slowly, really... :/

A Cup of Coffee, Two Cups of Coffee, Three... Planning on Not Going to Sleep?

My mum once told me that it's never good to have too much of anything.
Of course, she was right, and I did agreed.

And yesterday I obviously had one too many cups of coffee.
My mum always tells me to only have at most, one cup of coffee per day. She said that I'm still young so I shouldn't drink too much and apparently it's not good for my skin (?), not that I really cared... (She drinks at least two cups a day!! xP)
I usually have only one cup of coffee per day, mind you, except for yesterday.

It was time for my usual "coffee break, snack time, sips while watching anime" heaven~
I think I visibly paled when I discovered that the usual coffee mix my mum and I share have ran out. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I screamed inside my head. :3
I glanced over to see a Cappuccino mix up on the bench. I looked at it doubtfully before giving it a try.

I took a sip then immediately took a deep breath. MY. This is freakin' strong. Oh well. It's coffee....
Maybe it really was too strong, cause I think it was the cause of yesterday's headache I'd acquired.


As soon as my mum came home I screamed. 'OHH NOOO! MUMMM!! WE'VE RAN OUT OF COFFEEEEE!!! COFFEEEEEE!!!! THERE'S NO COFFEEEEEE!!!'
This is definitely worse than the world blowing up!!
Good thing she'd stopped by the store before coming home and she'd already brought them.
And I was like, let's wash out that bitter taste. 'Two cups of coffee will be fine, just for today, right?'
I immediately got down to making it.... then I drank it..

Aah...
Delicious alone can't describe the taste of coffee. :3

Did you know that coffee tastes really good with chocolate crepes, pure chocolate and many other chocolate things?
I was just following "Mello"'s example here since I got my hands on some awesome Meiji chocolate when I went to Chinatown... =^= It really makes a "breaking noise" when I bit off it, if it comes right out of the fridge! 8D

...I'm too tired to attempt another translationnn....

Hmp, here goes...

แม่ของฉันเคยพูดไว้ครั้งนึงว่าไม่ควนกินอะไรอย่างนึงมากเกินไป
แน่นอนแม่พูดถูก แล้วฉันก็เห็นด้วยนะ

...Okay, if I actually attempt to translate the whole passage, this post will be delay by at least 3 freakin' days. T^T
So let's just post.
Happy reading~ :)

Multi-Linguality Can Cause Brain Damage, Hypothetically Speaking. それはほんとですよ。อืม จริงมากๆ ~Si, certo~

Sydney Trip has been confirmed!
Well, it's been booked. Can't exactly say that it's been confirmed until we actually go on the trip because lots of things could happen before then, e.g. the world blows up, Sydney/where I live gets hit by some sort of Natural Disaster... just to name a few. :)
Oh, hey, hello pessimism. :)

~
Okay, from now on I'll try to write the post in English then write a Thai version underneath. I need to practice my language skills otherwise I'll fail too badly in Thai/Thailand. ...I might not even be able to write a single word! Spelling in Thai is a tedious job that requires lots of intellect... I happen to not have much... (?)
It's also a pain since I'm terrible at typing in Thai - I really can't remember where almost all of the characters are located, unlike English, where I can speed-type without looking at the keyboard.

そして、はじめりますよ！

Err... what's "trip" in Thai again... @~@ Crap. Stuck on the first sentence. Dictionary, where are youuu...

การที่เราจะไปซิดนี้ย์ได้ถูกคอนเฟิร์มแล้ว! < That took me like 5 minutes to freakin' type up. I'm really going to fail unless I go to an International school. But they happen to be insanely expensive... :/ (Well, I've heard, anyway)
ก็คือว่าบุ๊กตั๋วแล้วนะน่ะ (oh my god. This is so tiring and irritation-inducing :/) ยังพูดไม่ได้เต็มคำหรอกว่าคอนเฟิร์มแล้ว เพราะว่าก่อนที่จะไปซิดนี้ย์อาจจะเกิดเรี่ิองอะไรบางอย่างขึ้น อย่างเช่น โลกอาจจะระเบิด ซิดนี้ย์หรือเมืองที่เราอยู่อาจจะโดนพัยภิบัดอะไรบางอย่าง ก็น่ะ :)
โอ ไง หวัดดี "ความมองโลกในแง่ร้าย" :)

Some Thai person out there please tell me how many words I'd managed to spelt wrong or how many other mistakes I'd managed to make. ==
I'm quite sure I got "natural disaster" incorrect...

~Never before had a small keyboard looked so big. :3

そうだな～　

。。。それじゃ、またね！

...Friendly, Language Problem, or Exaggeration?

I was just told that I was their "best friend!!!!" by someone whom I met for two days before they left the country. O.o

Isn't that just strange?
All we talked about was some manga and laughed a little, and says hi when we see each other...

When I asked if he "still remembers me" through a message, he replies back with a "of course!!! You're my best friend!!!!"
I was like; Woah. O.o
This guy I'm talking about happened to be Japanese, and his English is no where near perfect, but I can usually understand him. ...but was that a typo? We've known each other for less than a week, and only actually saw each other for the two days out of six since we've met!
But then a thought struck me as well. It was quite obvious. He has a cheerful, open sort of personality. You know, the type that would be able to befriend every single student in the school? Even one of the girls call him by name (unless they were childhood friends or somethin').
Maybe he thinks of everyone as his best friend? Then that would make a lot of sense.
If it wasn't a typo or his personality, then I think it must've been some sort of... dictionary problem. :P

But I'd think that it was his "everyone is my friend" personality.
Unless he was secretly making fun of me... =="

Random, Pointless Debate That I'd Like to Mention

My friend just said to me, “Hey. Listen to this. Do not lose faith in humanity. If there is one drop of dirt in the ocean, it does not mean that the ocean is dirty.”

I was like, “Haah…?” What is this? This is so random. Oh, but it’s a nice quote. …is she trying to make me un-depressed? But that’s totally irrelevant to my “Depression”…I have no reason to have faith or to not have faith in humanity. I don’t even care about humanity. What I’ve lost faith in… wait, I don’t think I have any faith in anything from the start, ahahaha.  “Well, how many “dirt” are there though? I think there are lots and lots of dirt.” I was not convinced, however.

Her: “…fbjsfkbkfjn.” She said something that I can’t remember.

We had a short debate on the quote…

She actually re-pissed me. xD

Oh well, I was still in a State of Depression back then. Oh, and still am in one now, albeit not as deep...

Easily-Irritated Persons Such As Me Gets Irritated Easily. Also, Words Can Kill. And Debates Can Cause Depression. And Depression Can Kill. So then, Any Talking; Can Results in KILLED. By the Way, Do Try to Avoid Using the Cursed Word(s) Unless You Want to KILL. ^^

Okay, that's like, one of the longest post title ever....... but meh. I like my titles to sound catchy. xD 

Can't have it not. ...does it sound catchy? :)

One of my friends just came back from her 4-days vacation to Sydney.

She bought… stuff.

She said that they were for my birthday presents that she’d failed to give in February, which happens to be the month that I was born in. I told her that she did not have to do such things. Not in that kind, considerate, pleased way, no.

I was feeling irritated.

Or was I also secretly happy?

Or was I both irritated and happy?

So was I irritated or happy?

Anyway, outwardly and on top, and consciously, I was irritated. That she bought me a birthday present.

I know I should be happy, social-interactions-wise… But I couldn’t fake happiness. I never fake happiness. Faking happiness isn’t something I like doing, and it is something I can never be stuffed to do. And it’s no difference this time.

As soon as my friend had mentioned the word “birthday”, my State of Depression just immediately decided to come back from its vacation. Well, it’s not like I could stay cheery-happy for that long, technically speaking, anyway.

Because, why the heck must people keep celebrating that cursed day? The cursed day… =*=

The damn cursed day…

Psh, with the mention of that cursed day, I was put into an irritated mood for the rest of the night.

Not to mention that I came across this customer that irritated me. It wasn’t something worth being irritated and annoyed over, really. It was just a simple mistake or idiocy or retardation by the customer. However, I was annoyed.

It was a simple through-the-phone take-away order.

She ordered a certain food and then said “MILD”. It was said in a tone of voice that made me want to destroy the freakin’ phone. Did she think I was illiterate or something? Do I sound like a 5-year-old? You think I can’t understand you?

Although it’s probably because I’d asked her to repeat what she’d said, was why she’d said it to me like that. However the reason I’d asked her to repeat what she’d said was her freakin’ fault. There was this sudden background noise that came out of nowhere then disappeared quickly.

Plus, the fact that that certain dish WAS ALREADY MILD also annoyed me. =*=

She ordered a few more dishes, then she repeated the whole order again. For my sake, of course, but this also annoyed me because I was about to repeat the order back to her when she beat me to it. However it’d have annoyed me more if she’d asked me to “repeat the order back to her”, when I’m about to do just that. I’m an easily-irritated person. As expected of someone suffering from Depression, though. No surprise, really.

She went a little rushed, and so I asked, “Sorry, can you please start from the start again?”

She made this little annoyed “huffed” noise. I couldn’t blame her for being annoyed, however, because so am I. There’d be no end to this. :/

“..blah blah blah. And I want it MILD.”

Me: =*= It’s already mild, you dumbass! And it’s written down on the freakin’ menu!!! “Sorry? MILD?” I asked this just to make sure, and I was annoyed, too, ahahahaha. Although that was as far a revenge I could get because, customer is god. J

 Customer: “Yes. MILD. I want it in mild temperature.”

This sentence was what ticked me off completely. What did you just say? Are you twisted in the head? Did I just hear the word ‘temperature’ come out of this receiver? I was a bit taken aback and so I went uncertainly, “MILD… temperature?”

Customer: “Yes, MILD. You know how you have it in mild-medium-hot? I want it I mild temperature.”

She successfully made it sound like I was the idiot with half-deaf ears.

I was pissed.

However I did successfully ended the conversation without any yelling.

Good thing it was on the phone. Only some saw my irritated face. :3

Back to my friend who bought me birthday presents, which was a month and a half late, but that wasn’t the problem…

I was irritated that she bought me birthday presents, and I kept telling her that she shouldn’t have done it. In monotone.

…In my heart I knew I should at least smile when she gave it to me. But it was too hard to fake happiness, like I said…

“I got you the first volume of The Prince of Tennis and a Vampire Knight Art Book!” she says.

Me: =*=… “J…Oh, that’d have been good… except that I already have the first volume of The Princes of Tennis at home, in Thai…”

Friend: “Oh.”

Me: Why am I acting so mean? …Aargh. It was the cursed word. The “‘birthday’ present”… The cursed word, indeed.

Friend: “Well, I didn’t know.”

Me: “Of course you didn’t.”

No, I wasn’t happy at all. Really. I don’t think. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not.

Like hell I know, and like hell I care.

…Did she misunderstand my tastes? Yes, totally. I don’t understand art. And it’s not like I like Vampire Knight that much, either. I dropped it edges ago, really. Didn’t she know that? Err… apparently not. But who cares.

She said that “I didn’t know what to get you. And the stuff that I wanted to get you, you already have, so I got you those.”

Yes, but I already have one of them. And why are you buying me birthday presents? Trying to make me commit suicide, now are you? “Easiest way out. Don’t buy me anything.” < I said that sentence like, 5-6 times to her earlier today .

Fortunately, being the optimistic person she is, she was still smiling like always. Phew.

Plus, I’ve been trying to not buy any material things lately, with the chance of me going back to Thailand by the end of the year extremely high and all.

Yesterday my mum just said “This IELTS test is impossible for me to pass” to me, so might as well deem it certain…?

Oh, but my mind haven’t really accepted the truth yet. It’s like how I’ve been avoiding thinking about Work Experience (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, check some of my earlier posts… umm, the one that says “The School is Trying to Make me Commit Suicide”…)… It will need to happen, yet I’m not doing anything about it…

Geezes.

I hate life. =*=

Someone kill me nowwwww.

Some people will probably be really offended if they heard me say that. :/ You know, those people that are fighting to live, respectively. They’re fighting to live, and here I am asking to die.

While my life is perfectly likeable. In many people’s eyes.

I like my life. I do. I just don’t like life as a whole. I think it’s a bunch of senseless, pointless crap.

I don’t even have any right to be suffering from Depression. =*=

Geezes. This is another reason why I hate life so muchhhh….

Okay. I really, really, really want to die right now.

LOL, my State of Depression is full back and rolling. :P I don’t even care about leaving people behind at this moment in time (I’m sure I will sometime after this though, but not at the moment. I know myself).

Blame the word “birthday”. And then that “Work Experience” I’d just mentioned. They’re quite convenient triggers for my State of Depressions.

Other convenient triggers includes “future”, “university”, “senior”, etc, anything about the future, really.

A while ago someone had asked me whether I’m going to do the “Headstart Program” or not. (It’s this program at a certain university where you can study a course there while you’re still in Grade 11 or 12.)

I went quiet for a moment. I might not even be in Australia by then. Plus, even if I stay using a Student Visa, I’m not sure whether I’m eligible or not… “…Err, yeah, I want to, but I’m still not sure yet…” Was the reply I gave.

Daammmmmmmmmnnn.

Am I trying to make myself depressed?

Talking about these stuff sends me into despair. :/

So why am I talking about them? =*= Well, it’ll take a while for me to get out of a State once I’m in one. Maybe you should expect a few more Depression-filled posts the next following days? :/

Or maybe I’ll force myself out of it for the time being. I have lots of things to do after all.

Can’t waste time moping around thinking about committing suicide, now can we?

I seem to have a twisted mind. A word that normally gives people joy like “birthday” makes me want to commit suicide.

…Is what I think I should say.

HOWEVER, like hell my mind is twisted. I just think differently from people…. (is that valid? O.o). I’m just a coward that has really, really, really, low self-confidence. That’s right. It’s the start of it all.

Once another friend of mine has asked me, “Why do you have low self-esteem?” when I’d told her that I have low self-esteem.

I tried not to make a disgusted face at one of the stupidest question I’ve ever heard in my entire life. It’s like asking someone who’d optimistic why they’re so optimistic. Or asking someone who’s nice why they’re nice, etc.

Like hell I could give you a proper answer. It’s in ma personality!! But I attempted an answer anyway. “Well… that’s because I lack self-confidence, which is practically the same as low self-esteem anyway…” Pauses. “Do you even know what self-esteem is?”

She shrugs uncertainly.

Me: =*= Damn. …I was pissed. :P

She tried to talk me into getting out of Depression, I think, or whatever it was she was trying to do. When I mentioned that I’m a total failure, she said that “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself”.

Me: “Why not?”

She: “…Well, you just shouldn’t consider yourself a failure for every little mistake you do. Everybody makes mistakes.” I’ve heard that phrase so many times, I could strangle you for saying it alone. Can’t you be more creative?

Me: “…I know that. I know that everybody makes mistakes.” Yeah, even elementary schoolers know that.

She: “So you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.”

Me: “If I don’t be hard on myself now, I really will end up being a failure once I move back to Thailand.”

She makes this sort of impatient sound. “…Now, if you think you’re a failure, then what are we?”

Me: That makes you guys total failures. But I can’t really say that, even if I think that. Plus, she’s measuring my “failure” level with only academic level. However that really doesn’t have anything to do with it. There are lots of people in this world that ends up successful without even finishing primary school. Your argument is invalid. =*= I can’t survive in life when I’m scared of just doing Work Experience. So freakin’ scared that I’m Depressed! How’s that!?? However I painfully lost that argument because I couldn’t say that I thought that they were failures. And it was simply too bothersome to explain the whole concept that came afterwards (Typing this up was also a pain, mind you). She wasn’t the type that could understand big stuff like that anyways, although it is quite simple…

I was still pissed as we continued the conversation. Don’t know if she noticed though.

Our opinions on this certain topic never mixed well. Everything she says to me, I have an argument to back it up. However I FAILED in debating and I can never come up with a proper one on the spot. :/ It sucks.

However our debates never really ended with a clear winner…

Talking about debates, that reminds me of something I want to rant about.

The friend that came back from Sydney that I mentioned earlier? She’s also the same “certain waitress” that I’ve complained about in a couple of my posts back in March.

There was this one time that I had a non-serious debate with one of my co-workers about how a sign should be put up; whether the sticky-tape should be on the inside, outside, etc.

There were several interruptions since we were in the middle of work.

My co-worker was the one who put up the sign, I got the last word in, and she put the sign up my way. Then the certain waitress passed by and asked, “Who who won that argument?”

“Hm?” I wondered. “No one…” Which was sort of true. Since I didn’t feel like I won anything, but my co-worker didn’t win anything either. It wasn’t serious anyway.

“Of course, of course,” she said, grinning at me knowingly. She gave me the look that one would give you a person who’d lost yet isn’t admitting it…

My anger metre went up sky-high. =*=

This actually happened in December last year, mind you… And yes, I still remembered it, since it pissed me off quite a bit.

Yes, I was pissed.

…How many times have I used the word “pissed” in this post?

…Oh well, my friend(s) never ceases to piss me off. x) Partly because Depression makes me easily-irritated, and partly because I have a bad personality… (unless I’ve had Depression since I was in elementary school, then it’s definitely related to my personality. I’ve always gotten irritated, annoyed and angry at pointless stuff since I was a kid. I’ve gotten better since entering middle school, but then Depression kicked in. So then, oh, back to easily-irritated with everything pointless! 8D).

…Even their face(s) pisses me off sometimes. Never mind how, ‘cause I don’t really care, ahahaha. xD

So then, so long,

From,

Mage-chan~