This Random Passage on the Internet Just Ordered me to do Something...

LOL, the post title is quite random sounding. :P

But this is another Depression-filled post, mind you. x)

I went on a little Wiki Walk with this starting word: Depression.

That certain passage just freakin' told me that I need to get help, or whatever...

Now I'm re-thinking things.
What is it that I really want?
To die, to disappear, to not live, or to deprive myself of Depression?
Hmm.... :/ A hard question, that one.

Err... I... am too stubborn to try and get rid of Depression, to be honest. I don't know why, maybe it's because I think illnesses are cool? :x
As they say, Television is Trying to Kill Us.

And I really really really really REALLY don't want to be deprived of Depression... then to look back on my life and see how stupid I was to sink into despair when there really wasn't any reason for me to. :/
Actually, I think if I try I would be able to get rid of this, since I know all about myself and all... =*=
See, I even know that what I'm thinking is stupid.
Oh wait, or do I?
Yaaahhhhh~ Yada yada yada~
The human brain. What a hard thing to understand. Even a human brain isn't advance enough to understand itself. ==
Hmm... I think my view on life is correct...
Um... oh, yes, it's because I know that optimism is a good way to live life, and I can understand other people's point of views...
...this is really complicated. =.,=
Oh, that's right...! I want to commit suicide, but I also know that it's not the right thing to do - this known fact is also one of the things stopping me from doing so, mind you. So... I know that me wanting to commit suicide is stupid, but I really want to do it!!
Yaaaahhh~ :D
Depression is so annoying, yet I like how it makes me feel... I don't know...
...I love my I view the world; I think it's right, but I just don't like how I'm acting... that's right! That's it! I don't like what I'm doing and what I'm not doing.
I hate how unmotivated, lazy, stupid, and passive I am.
...but my thoughts controls my actions. =="

Y'know, all of this is so troublesome and bothersome and tiring that I just "want everything to end already". :3

NO, I don't want to exercise.
I don't want to do anything anymore.

I want everything to effin' end.

....
Why do I keep repeating myself, damn it? ==
I'd better come up with some new things to rant on about next time so that I can keep you  readers entertained.
Then again, you guys aren't like my stories readers... I don't feel obligated to keep updating because I feel that I can make people happy with my product...
Maybe it's because there aren't many readers, and barely any comments, while I get at least one review in 3-5 months with Four Leaf Clover?
Or is it the content?
...most likely all of the above. :/

So then, so long,
From,
Mage-chan~

I'm a Realist. My Friend is a Dreamer (?). Our Opinions do Not Mix Well.

"If you think about something/believe in something hard enough, it will come true one day."


...LIKE HELL IT WILLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Makes me so irritated just thinking about this uber outlandish belief!
....LIKE HELL IT'S TRUE!
...Like hell you'll become a millionaire one day by believing so! Then go and loan a million dollars because you know that you'll have enough money to pay the bank back one day anyway!
...Like hell you'll become a freakin' mermaid the next morning if you wish hard enough! Then go and jump into the water and try staying underneath for half an hour!
...Like hell you'll be able to fly once if you convince yourself you could! Then go jump off a cliff and try!!!

What really matters are your actions!! Nothing will come out of just believing and thinking!
However, not just your actions matter either!
Like I have state in one of my other posts before, you are not the only one in this world, and not only you can influence the events that happens around you. Even if you try your hardest, you may still fail if there is no opportunity for you to win. There may be people who try to stop you - there may be people who won't accept you, and you can't do anything if no one accepts.
Because you cannot really achieve anything alone.
For example, businesses needs customers. If you don't have any customers, you fail. If customers don't accept your business, you go bankrupt. You go bankrupt, you don't have any money. You don't have any money, you starve. You suffer, you die in vain, you fail.
You live off other people's acceptance.
We students pass because the teachers accept our assignments and exam answers.

However it's not always that someone would accept you.
Those homeless people, what do you think happened to them for them to become like this?
Those starving kids in Africa.
Those jobless adults who has families to support that are all around the world.

I hate the world, I hate life, I hate living.

It's so pointless, yet to top it all off, it's hard, it's difficult, it's tiring, it's unpredictable, and never certain.
You're never guarantee happiness, an easy road or success.
Yet you're always guarantee pain, hardship or suffering.

Some people may try to argue by saying that the happiness you feel after overcoming hardship is definitely something to look forward to.
But what if you're not capable of doing so? Or are you also going to say that everyone is capable of doing so?
...Personally, I hate life and I hate living, but everyone has their choices.
As they say, your life belongs to you. You are your own master.
BUT... you can't completely control it because, I will repeat myself, you are not the only one in this world.

It's all quite simple, really. :3