The Adventures of Literacy... and Thoughts.

This post relates a lot to this other post of mine. I'm just pretty much repeating myself again. :P

Writing have somehow turned into one of my hobbies, during the past few years.
...must be because of Four Leaf Clover, with its apparent success and ridiculous length and longevity.

Personally, I think I am not that great at writing.
All of my fiction so far are failures - Four Leaf Clover included.

I do not have the ability to create short stories. =.="
I wish I do.
So far I've started around 30 stories, and none of them have faced a decent end. Neglected, mostly.

I get all of those ideas that forces itself into my head, and then I'd start a story. And then halfway through - maybe even earlier than that, I become stuck. Then I'd get Writer's Block. Then the story is as good as dead...

And yet I don't ever stop starting new stories, even if I knew that one day they'd all face the same sad fate... =.="
My newest was started only last week, and it involves a magic theme... and people fighting in wars... you know, that type of heroic, touching action adventure story. :P
I'm determined to plan out this story!!! (which I'm sure will also end in more failure!! ><)

It's all so annoying - things that I'm good at and things that I like are some times different. For example, I'm very interested in Geography and Economics, but Social Science [SOSE] is one of my worse subjects ever. Economics get an extra boost though, since I'm good at Maths in general...
And I also like Physics and Chemistry, yet I seem to suck at everything Science...

No, actually, now that I think about it, I might not really have any subjects that I'm really that great at.

And somehow, reading has turned into something painful for me. :/ ...which I do not like. Because I like reading... I think...
I remember that I used to always read - that I loved reading novels, and reading manga.

But lately, every time I pick up a book, fanfiction, or manga, I'd always be forced to pull myself away. After reading something my eyes would be extremely tired and I would feel like I require sleep. :/
And I just can't enjoy something that is so time-consuming like reading any more, with everything piling up...

On the other hand, I'm quite glad that I managed to drop a lot of my hobbies [because they waste a lot of my time]. Actually, I think it's best that I don't have anything I like at all... that way I won't have anything to run away to in times when I wished to procrastinate. Simply, I won't have anything that I'd want to do. So I'd have a higher chance of staying on task.
[I hate myself for being so in-discipline. :/]

I felt that I've avoided blogging more than usual, but since I'd posted the post saying that I won't be blogging much anymore, I've posted once every two days. O.o
Which surprised me, since it felt like I'd left quite a gap... but apparently I have not.
I'm going to deduct that it was because I've been busy this week, so it felt longer.

With that said, I hope I'll be able to stay away for a longer period every time. :)

Adios~

From,
Mage-chan~

Information Overload; Some Sort of Plan Should be Involved in Writing a Story

For the first time in my life, I am thinking of doing some planning for one of my stories.
No, I plan to plan everything on this story, because at the moment it is my favourite out of all approx. 30 stories I am simultaneously writing. :3
(There are many dropped ones, hiatus ones, etc, too, though. And most of them are stories that I'll never ever put on the internet as they are only for my entertainment. :3)

Because to me, Four Leaf Clover was a failure. My failure. Rather, the story itself wasn't a failure since I got a good reaction from the FPCom readers, but what I did to it made it a failure.

I never plan out any of my stories.
I usually would just think up of a starting plot or idea, a few characters, then start writin'!

And I now wished a little that I had planned out Four Leaf Clover at least a little. Usually when I write, I would slap new ideas into the story along the way.
Even if my writing works best that way as I usually come up with good ideas as I write, it can bring a bit of a mistake. What I'd added into the story later may not mix well with the start or something that I had said at the start. Four Leaf Clover had this problem.
It has been over a year since I'd started Four Leaf Clover, and I forget what I'd written down before. But then when I re-read back, I realised with some horror that what I said at the start contradicts with what happens recently. I was worried that the readers might notice. New readers who reads the chapters all the way through will probably notice it, old readers who waits for new chapters probably won't. Hopefully.
(And don't ask what the mistake was; I'd already forgotten. I remember worrying about it when I re-read the first few chapters though... O.o)

It was worse since Four Leaf Clover had potential, I just knew. If only I didn't stuff it up, it could've been way way better than it is. I feel that I own something to the readers and the story itself. I've become attached  to the characters already anyway, since I've been with them for over a year already.

And so I do not want to make the same mistake all over again.
At the moment my focus are on 3 different stories, with Four Leaf Clover as one of them. It never leaves my "focus", mind you. There are people waiting for me to update. >.>
2. My World, Your World and The World - an action mecha supernatural story, I guess. Supernatural powers are known to exist in this universe, our earth in 2047 AD. The main character becomes a member of a world-wide organisation sponsored by the UN that researches, controls, investigates, etc, crimes and criminal that are related to the supernatural.
3. The Absurdly Powerful Student Council. Literally. - a school life supernatural comedy story. Set in a country where there is a school that keeps its secret within its huge impenetrable walls; it was also widely known as the most prestigious school in the world and the entrance exam seems to be insanely hard. Kiriha, the main character, suddenly gets a "mandatory" invitation to this school after meeting its Student Council one day. She goes there and was told that this school was created to house kids who have supernatural powers, magical powers, are non-human beings, etc, and that she was also one, without knowing it. The Student Council were made up of only the strongest students, so the title rings truth.

At the moment I'm attempting to plan out My World, Your World and The World, but I seriously do not know where to start. There's so much to write about, which also means that there's so much to plan of!
Seeing that it was set in a different universe (similar to the current world, but still different), I decided to draw out the map of the setting, but that failed... Then I decided to list the characters, but that... sort of failed as well.
And so I went on to creating some cases for the team to solve. I instantaneously came up with three, and am  glad that I am planning them out before writing as it will likely give off the best product. ...probably.
However this sort of story can go on forever; it sounds episodic, and episodic stories seems to last long (not that it will be popular or good long, but that the story itself can be long) as they can really go on as the author gives them some new problem each new episode. But I don't really want this story to be episodic, so I'll need to think up some sort of ending... but I can't really come up with any. Not at the moment anyway.

And I need to start planning for The Absurdly Powerful Student Council. Literally., too...

And I am planning on planning for the future of Four Leaf Clover, and just so you know, it will be a long long road...
I have no intention of ending it any time soon, as there's a lot more that I can still write about... there are quite the amount of characters after all... and I can write four times more than a normal story, because the main character leads 4 lives!!!

This Random Passage on the Internet Just Ordered me to do Something...

LOL, the post title is quite random sounding. :P

But this is another Depression-filled post, mind you. x)

I went on a little Wiki Walk with this starting word: Depression.

That certain passage just freakin' told me that I need to get help, or whatever...

Now I'm re-thinking things.
What is it that I really want?
To die, to disappear, to not live, or to deprive myself of Depression?
Hmm.... :/ A hard question, that one.

Err... I... am too stubborn to try and get rid of Depression, to be honest. I don't know why, maybe it's because I think illnesses are cool? :x
As they say, Television is Trying to Kill Us.

And I really really really really REALLY don't want to be deprived of Depression... then to look back on my life and see how stupid I was to sink into despair when there really wasn't any reason for me to. :/
Actually, I think if I try I would be able to get rid of this, since I know all about myself and all... =*=
See, I even know that what I'm thinking is stupid.
Oh wait, or do I?
Yaaahhhhh~ Yada yada yada~
The human brain. What a hard thing to understand. Even a human brain isn't advance enough to understand itself. ==
Hmm... I think my view on life is correct...
Um... oh, yes, it's because I know that optimism is a good way to live life, and I can understand other people's point of views...
...this is really complicated. =.,=
Oh, that's right...! I want to commit suicide, but I also know that it's not the right thing to do - this known fact is also one of the things stopping me from doing so, mind you. So... I know that me wanting to commit suicide is stupid, but I really want to do it!!
Yaaaahhh~ :D
Depression is so annoying, yet I like how it makes me feel... I don't know...
...I love my I view the world; I think it's right, but I just don't like how I'm acting... that's right! That's it! I don't like what I'm doing and what I'm not doing.
I hate how unmotivated, lazy, stupid, and passive I am.
...but my thoughts controls my actions. =="

Y'know, all of this is so troublesome and bothersome and tiring that I just "want everything to end already". :3

NO, I don't want to exercise.
I don't want to do anything anymore.

I want everything to effin' end.

....
Why do I keep repeating myself, damn it? ==
I'd better come up with some new things to rant on about next time so that I can keep you  readers entertained.
Then again, you guys aren't like my stories readers... I don't feel obligated to keep updating because I feel that I can make people happy with my product...
Maybe it's because there aren't many readers, and barely any comments, while I get at least one review in 3-5 months with Four Leaf Clover?
Or is it the content?
...most likely all of the above. :/

So then, so long,
From,
Mage-chan~

Acquired Memento of How Terrible This Freakin' World is

So I ended up able to retrieve my USB back into my possession.

Except that it doesn't really feel like it's in my possession.

The real world is not so easy; what once lost cannot be regain. And No pain no gain.
I lost nothing to regained again what I'd lost.

Or maybe what I lost was a part of my... sanity?
Err, no. That's not it. Wrong choice of words.

I thought the despair I felt during that damn Science exam on my freakin' birthday was pretty bad, but losing my USB brought worse.
Aah... what a memorable feeling it was. :3
Greatly reminding me how the world is always unpredictable; one careless step and you may lose everything that is important to you. (although I made a backup, so that wasn't as terrible. Yes, it was only a simulation. The real thing will be worse. Much, much worse. Much, much, much worse.)

And I can blame no one but myself for this lost.
Like most times, there is no one but yourself to blame because it's usually you who have done the wrong. Unless it's someone elses.
I want to blame life, but there's no point in that because life has always been like it, and it will not change, but the people can. But the people won't change, so it won't change, either.

I haven't used my USB yet.
I feel that it would be too... I don't know, I just can't. I can't bring myself to use it.
Maybe I should just keep it as a memento of this event.
It'll remind me quite nicely how the world never goes the way you wish; it's unpredictable and you must be very careful or you end up half-dead.
Yeah... if I use it, I feel that this truth may be forgotten from my mind.

Yeah. I won't use it until....
Whenever.
Maybe once I finished that side story and pilot chapter for one of my stories and publish it on FPCom. And then I'll use it since I'd need to continue Chapter 32 of Four Leaf Clover.
Maybe never.

Lightspeed Bullet, Sharp Blade, Unstoppable Gravity or Accelerating Vehicle

I just lost my USB yesterday, one of my life-lines and one of the few things that were keeping me from committing suicide.

Now I’m considering whether I should shoot myself, stab myself, jump of a building or get hit by a car. Since the four mentioned are possible ways for me to commit suicide, except maybe the first one. (I’ll need to find a gun, first…)

The easiest one would be to stab myself, but I’m not sure whether I’ll die straight away, so it’s quite risky. Maybe I’ll die of blood loss… will that be painful? Hmm. The “stabbing” would very likely be painful, but is the process of dying there, blood draining away, actually painful?

…well, maybe stabbing myself isn’t such a good idea then.

Getting hit by a car doesn’t sound that promising either. I may get broken bones here and there… but not die. Unless I manage to find a delivery truck with a drunken driver. 8D But I can’t be bothered to go out and find it…

Plus, even worse, something drastic could happen… like, I could lose my eye sight, but not die. And now that I’ve lost my eye sight, so I’ll be watched over and won’t be able to commit suicide… the ultimate nightmare. Yes, ultimate nightmare indeed. My eyesight is very, very important to me, seeing that some of the things that are stopping me from committing suicide were my stories and manga, both of which definitely require eye sight. (But more so my stories. Manga… is just… there. It doesn’t hold that much meaning anymore, because no one would care if I don’t read manga no longer. There’s no point for me to continue reading.)

Yes, that might very well happen. It’s karma. I tried to commit a grave sin by killing myself and so the damn world would inflict upon me my ultimate nightmare.

So I guess the best and easiest way out would be to jump down from a building. 8D

Except where would that be? I’d need at least a three-story if I were to guarantee death... and our town being our town, there aren't that many tall buildings. 

And safety restrictions have roofs and balconies fenced off and stuff nowadays.

...How about I overdose myself? 8D

Ohh, great idea! There are random packs of medicine all over my house! 

Naah... sounds painful as well.

Well, that's just like life. I won't kill myself, although I really want to. But if someone comes kill me, I'll welcome him/her with open arms! 8D (as long as it's quick...)

But, seeing that this is life, I probably won't die any time soon. Someone else who doesn't want to die definitely will. :/

I'm Slow. Stupidly Slow. Ridiculously, Unbelievably Slow.

Remember this post?

How my friend commented on my story?

I only got annoyed with it now. =="

I welcome criticism, but they make me mad nevertheless.
And I'd still welcome criticism. Yet everytime I read or hear something negative, it would always make me mad in one way or another. But I would push down these feelings (because I know they're totally unreasonable) and reply in a very happy-happy, or if I couldn't force myself to, casual-normal way.

As I re-thought and re-read my story and continue writing, I got friggin' pissed off at my friend. Right now, I've already worn off the feeling, but I was like, "what the hell? Why am I mad? I'm so senseless!" =="

Well, I am unreasonable, out of many other negative traits.
Just to name a few: pessimistic, cynical, senseless, overly non-confidence, lazy...

~
It got me really mad after I finished writing the bit where she said "should happen", as per her suggestions. I think I'm overly-influenced by comments.
I absolutely hate changing what I have already written. And this was not an exception.
That part was a little out of context, and a little... incongruousness. But it was alright literacy-wise generally; the problem was that what happened in the story were against my personal beliefs. ==
I felt so contradicted, making my main character do something against my beliefs and what I actually wanted her to. But I wrote it anyway. Now I have to go along with it. == For god's sake, I hate myself.
...I don't even believe in god. == ...It's not for god's sake, but I still hate myself nevertheless.

BLaaaaaah.
Let's just live on now and I will continue writing from there.

Wait. I can't anymore.
Because the events were changed, what happens afterwards changes too.
And because of that I can't proceed with the story. *grinds teeth* I hate myself a little more.
...*O* Gaaaaaah! Her reaction to everything now has to be reversed because of this new change!
GAAH! This sucks, this sucks, this sucks!!
..Sorry. I was just trying to write the story a few moments ago. ==

...I have two choices.
1. Write while thinking of the reader's enjoyment and just continued writing from now, following the new storyline.
2. Write to my own enjoyment and delete the change then rewrite from then on.
But I don't want to do either. =*=
I'm currently trying to go option 3. Keep the new change, but avert her actions. Make her unsure of this "new change"... but I'd have to change this "new change" because I made her sound certain of what has changed... if she wasn't certain then she wouldn't have the determination or motivation do as her "new change" states.
But at the moment I can't bring myself to make her forceful or determined like all these typical annoying heroines from mangas with same basic plot. == (They annoy sometimes, actually, depending on the circumstances.)

That aside, I think I was mad probably also because my beliefs clashed with my friend's belief/suggestion.
This story is about a girl who goes back to her hometown to see her childhood love interest. But he'd forgotten about her.
She finds out that he'd forgotten about her because his father had died in front of his eyes, and he blamed himself for his father's death, etc. It was all extremely traumatising, so his subconsciousness sorts of made him forgot it?
The main girl thinks that she shouldn't risk his happiness just so that he "may" remember her, while the main guy's big brother disagrees, and says that now that she's back she should try to make him remember her.
But the main girl still disagrees, because it's too risky and she might end up scarring him for EVAAA.

My friend thinks this means that "the main girl doesn't actually love him, since she's trying to make him remember her".

I understand both interpretations, btw. After all, Your Mileage May Vary with almost anything.

What do you think, if you're not my friend? ==

P.S. There are probably lots of mistakes, but I want to put it up now but my mum's urging me to sleep since it's midnight... :P
So I'll come back and edit it later.

I See! 8D My Failure as A Person Has Increased

I write stories all the time, as I'd said before.
Not that any of them are great.

After a week, my friend told me what she thought of them.
(She... keeps forgetting to read them, that's all... ^^)

Me: "So... how was it?"
She: "It was good." Followed by some criticisms and "you should do this, not this/instead of this"s.


In the past two years of her reading my random and terrible stories, this is the first time I've heard this sort of thing from her. ==
Why would she suddenly get active with her comments?

Does this mean that my writing have fallen to the point that she just can't help but feel the need to say something!??

Yeaaah.

Plus, what was "good" about it!?
Nothing, it seems. It's probably true, too. xP
And I can't follow any of her suggestions because that would ruin what I have planned ahead for the story... ==
...I could plan again. 8D
But that would be a pain in the butt. >.>

So, why...?

So far the shortest title I've ever used as a post title. ><

I'm an active writer. There just aren't that many that are actually online.
I'm sure many of you people out there is like that as well. :3 Although you probably won't ever read this. >.>

Inspired by a dream I had on Thursday morning, I could not help but start another story.
Currently, I have 29 stories, including fanfictions, one of which is completed.

I told my friend about how I'd started another story and that it's about "a girl who goes back to her hometown to visit her childhood love interest... yet he doesn't remember her, etc. blah blah blaahhh..."
And she replies with, "That's good! That's really good, Mage-chan!"
And I've only told her the short summary. What's "good"? But I never got to ask that question. =_+
Anyhow, here is the story in question. :3

Don't bother to read it if you can't be bothered, by the way. ==

~oOo~

Title: To the Time When We Knew Each Other

Summary: A girl who lives in Tokyo is now visiting her hometown in hopes of seeing her childhood love interest after 8 years… but no one (although there are exceptions) remembers her, let alone her childhood love interest? And what is her former classmate from Tokyo doing in her hometown??

Kuramaki Sora stepped down from the train and took a long look at the familiar landscape, her long brown hair flowing with the wind. She blinked her light blue eyes as the sun flared against her eyes. Nostalgia flooded into her senses and she was surprised that she still recalled some of her childhood memories.

The most vivid one was of her last day in this town.

It had been almost 8 years since she’d returned, and she was now just turning 18. After she graduated high school, Sora decided to come back to visit her hometown before returning back to Tokyo to start university.

She slowly rolled her travel bag out of the train station and waited for a cab. Meanwhile, she got out her mobile phone. She dialled her mother’s number who was still in Tokyo.

[Moshimoshi?]

‘Kaasan! I’ve arrived safely.’ There was a slight sarcasm in her voice, but it would be impossible to detect through the phone.

[That’s good. Make sure you’ve got everything.]

Sora sweatdropped slightly. I’m not a little kid anymore… ‘Well, I’m heading to the ryokan now, so bye.’

[Okay, say hello to Kousuke-kun for me.]

‘Sure…’ Sora immediately hang up after that, seeing a cab approaching. Just hearing "his" name made Sora excited. Kou-chan… Finally…

I’ll get to see you again!

Sora swiped a curious glance at the ryokan in front of her. It was big, prestigious and 5-star looking. Are you sure this is a ryokan? To her, it seemed more like a Japanese-style 5-star hotel. But then again, that’s not very far from the truth.

It wasn’t far from the train station and was in a good location, so most tourists would come here first... they’d see this first as soon as they step into the town central. It’s even bigger than 8 years ago… it’s grown! It’d doubled in size! Sora complained inwardly. Naturally, this place would attract a lot of customers, but Sora continued down the path after staring at it disapprovingly for a few moments. She trudged down it slowly, appreciating the Sakura that were about to fall.

She finally stopped when she came to a certain ryokan, approximately 150 metres down the road. It was far more smaller than the first 5-star looking ryokan she saw earlier, but it had a nice welcoming feel. There was a souvenir shop on the left side and a café on the right. More shops lined down the street, and there were a couple more small ryokans as well.

Sora smiled excitedly to herself. At least I remember where it is. Sora looked at the nostalgic building in front of her; then again, everything in this town feels nostalgic. The ryokan that’s run by Kou-chan’s family!

After standing there for a while, Sora quickly stepped in to stop passerbys staring at her curiously. She hated getting stared at. Although right now it’s probably run by Kou-chan… maybe… I haven’t contacted them for 8 years, so as far I know Kou-chan may not be here anymore… with that thought, a frown appeared on her face.

‘Welcome, how can I help you, miss?’

Sora quickly stepped out of her trance and looked up to the speaker who was behind the reception. ‘Umm… a room, please,’ she said shortly and simply.

The young woman who was in her mid-20s who’d served Sora smiled warmly in reply then turned to the computer in front of her. ‘Have you booked in advanced?’

‘Yes…’ Sora replied distractedly, looking around the room, hoping to see any familiar faces.

‘Your name please?’ the young woman asked. Sora turned around quickly and read her name tag; Mizunaka Ame.

‘It’s Kuramaki Sora,’ Sora replied, flashing a quick smile across her face so that she didn’t seem to be too rude… before turning back to looking around the room attentively.

‘Thank you. Are there any new changes to your booking?’ Ame inquired

‘Um… no…’ Sora replied, frowning thoughtfully, turning back to her.

‘Thank you very much. Here is the key to your room,’ Ame said, placing the key onto the bench. Sora reached out and grabs it. ‘You are in room 105.’

Sora hesitated. This would be the time when normal customers are supposed to walk away to your room… but there was something she needed to ask.

Fortunately, the receptionist noticed her hesitation. ‘Is there anything else you need, Kuramaki-san?’ she asked with her friendliness – that is natural to be for a receptionist.

‘Ohh, um…’ Sora began shyly. I’ll… make it vague… ‘I was just wondering…’

‘Is there a problem?’ a semi-deep voice piped up from behind Sora, to her right. She froze. The voice wasn’t unfriendly, or unwelcoming at any rate, but she hates talking to strangers. Sora casually slid to the left and turned around look at the speaker. Her eyes nearly popped out when she saw him.

Light brown hair that seemed to refuse to stay down no matter how much hair gel he uses… and green eyes. He has casual friendly look and he was wearing a suit; showing his superiority in the matter. He looked familiar, but it had already been 8 years and Sora knew that there would be many changes.

‘Manager,’ Ame said as she recognised him.

Manager? Could it be? Sora wondered. But she didn’t say anything unless she got it wrong and ends up embarrassing herself.

‘So, is something wrong, miss?’ the newcomer smiled at her gently.

Sora blushed. ‘I… was just going to ask if the Touno family is still running this ryokan…’ she said quietly.

‘Eh?’ the two workers let out at the same time.

Sora blinked. Did I ask something wrong? ‘No?’ she wondered with a frown.

‘No, they are, but… no one should really know this,’ the man said, looking surprised.

‘Eh? Why?’ Sora asked with concern.

‘The last head of the family was changed. To be simple, the family’s lastname changed so it’s the “Hirakawa family” that’s running the ryokan right now,’ he explained. He then put his hand out, ‘My big brother is the current head of the family and the owner while I’m the current manager of this Hanairo ryokan, Hirakawa Kousuke.’

Sora froze and all she could do was stare speechlessly at him.

‘If you have any problems, you can contact me,’ he continued with a “standard-customer-welcoming” smile. Kousuke reached into his suit’s inner pocket and got out a name card. ‘Here’s my contact number…’ Kousuke began. He stopped when he saw the dazed look on Sora’s face. ‘…Umm?’

Sora debated intensely to herself whether she should just jump on him and announce her happiness or give him her name first. Even though they were extremely close 8 years ago, a lot of time has passed. Sora took a breath of air to calm herself down and took the name card from him. She smiled, ‘My name i-.’

‘Kuramaki? Is that you?’

Sora stopped mid-sentence when someone called out her name. She turned to her right where a guy around her age had just entered. He had a average built, layered black hair and dark green eyes. Her jaws might have dropped to the ground except that she was trying to not lose face in front of Kousuke. ‘…Mi… yano-kun?’ Sora wondered quietly, blinking. She was surprised that she could still recognise him. ‘Are you here for a holiday as well?’ she asked warily. Miyano Taichi was her middle school classmate, and was one of her good friends. She was happy to meet him, of course. But meeting him at the same as meeting Kousuke is not something that she would be too happy over.

‘What are you saying? I live here!’ Taichi replied cheerily, oblivious to her unsatisfactory.

‘…’ That sentence caused Sora to become even more speechless. ‘Hah?’ she wondered lamely. ‘You… live here?’ she echoed him uncertainly.

Kousuke turned to Taichi. ‘Taichi, what is it? Did you need to see me?’ he asked casually.

This revelation might have caused Sora to go brain-dead, but she didn’t. She stood there, calmly observing what was happening in front of her with some interest.

‘Eh? I was just going to invite you over and stuff,’ Taichi replied casually before turning back to Sora. ‘Kuramaki, you here for a holiday?’ Sora nodded cautiously. ‘Really?’ Taichi asked, his face shining. ‘Come over to the café next door sometimes! My family runs it!’

‘I see…’ Sora replied. I was thinking that it must be new… Too many things have changed since 8 years ago…

‘Is it your first time here? Do you need a tour guide?’ Taichi asked excitedly, walking over to it was easier to talk, especially when Sora showed no signs of moving from that spot.

‘It’s not my first time here but I would appreciate a guide…’ Sora replied thoughtfully. A realisation hit her once Taichi stopped in front of her. If this guy is here then I can’t talk to Kou-chan!

‘Well then, Kuramaki-san, seeing that you’re Taichi’s friend, I’ll give you some special service!’ Kousuke piped up, quite cheerfully.

Sora turned to him, mostly disappointed. So… he doesn’t recognise me? Sora then felt a sudden fear in her heart when she came up with another possibility. Maybe he’s… forgotten about me?

She ended up gaping. Sora wanted to ask if Kousuke remembers her. But then that would be quite pointless. If he actually remembers me, he should’ve said hello by now after hearing my last name… Plus, if he can’t remember me, then what would be the point of seeing him? ...it must mean that he’s forgotten about our promise as well, right?

The emotions she was feeling were clearly showing on her face.

‘Kuramaki-san? Is something wrong?’ Kousuke asked with concern.

This sentence almost triggered her to punch him in the face. ‘No, don’t worry about it, Ko… To… H…Hirakawa-san.’

‘I see…’ Kousuke replied, not looking totally convinced. ‘I’ll take your bag to your room for you,’ he offered kindly. ‘Then how about we jump over to the Miyano’s? You haven’t had anything to eat yet since arriving, correct?’ he suggested.

Sora nodded, ‘Alright, thank you… but,’ she began.

‘Yes?’ Kousuke wondered.

‘I’ll carry my bag to my room myself and you two can go wait in the café,’ Sora explained, smoothly grabbing the bag from him. If it was just any stranger I wouldn’t have the nerve to reject his offer, but since it’s Kou-chan, I do. …Even if he doesn’t remember me. Sora then quickly walked off.

Kousuke stared after her speechlessly before turning to Taichi. ‘Is she always like that?’

‘Hmm… yeah. She’s very independent. Never let herself owe anyone anything either.’

‘I see…’ Kousuke commented, hiding a small smile…

Sora stepped out of the Hanairo ryokan and turned right without hesitation. She didn’t like people waiting for her. She preferred waiting for other people more. Sora had put all of her luggage in the room and put together a carry bag with the necessarily carry-around essentials. She now put her room key inside as she continued walking. She stopped as she reached the entrance and pushed the door open. Sora was hit with a cool breeze as she did so. The café had an indoor section as well as an outdoor one; she didn’t see anyone outside so she deduced that Kousuke and Taichi must be in the indoor section.

There were little round white tables spread out in the dining area and the glass walls were decorated with orange and yellow stickers. She smiled as praise for the décor.

She saw the two sitting at a table in the far right corner and she proceeded to hurry over. Just mentioned earlier, she hate making people wait for her.

Kousuke and Taichi sat in the cool air-conned air of the Miyanos’ café. Kousuke frowned thoughtfully. Sora reactions in the ryokan were quite strange. He wondered if he said anything wrong. ‘Kuramaki-san, she…’ Kousuke began to Taichi, knowing that he knew her much better than he does.

‘Hm? What about her?’ Taichi wondered. Then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, ‘…don’t tell me you’re interested?’

‘Eh? N…’ Kousuke was about to naturally deny the question but Taichi didn’t even let him continue.

‘Dude, that won’t be easy. She rejected every single person that confessed to her,’ Taichi interrupted him knowledgably. Then, blushing slightly, he added quietly, looking away, ‘Plus, I…’ He swallowed before continuing, ‘…towards Kuramaki, I…’

‘Sorry for the wait…’ Sora said, half-skipping up to their table. She smiled at the two of them casually then sat down. She’d already settled down her feelings long ago and is now into full “pretend to be happy” mode. ‘Just give me anything you recommend,’ Sora said to Taichi. ‘I think our tastes are pretty similar, according to past experiences.’

Taichi nodded before he yelled some orders to the kitchen.

Sora took a sip of the glass of water that was already on the table. She wasn’t finding this situation that comfortable. But she was glad she at least got to see Kousuke again. Her feelings for him may have dimmed slightly during the past 8 years of non-communication, but she still loves him nonetheless.

She smiled as she began reminiscing her younger days in this town.

[‘Kou-chan! Wait for me!’ Sora called, desperately running after the older boy.

Touno Kousuke, 9-year-old, stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at the person who’d called his name. ‘Sora?’ …There could be no one else. Not that many people call him by that name. He blinked in confusion. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked curiously.

8-year-old Kuramaki Sora quickly skidded to a stop in front of him. ‘Kou-chan, where are you going?’ she asked, frowning.

‘…’ After looking taken aback for a short while, Kousuke gave her a warm smile, ‘I’m just taking a walk. Want to come with me, Sora?’

Sora’s face lit up brightly. ‘Uhn! Definitely!’ she exclaimed as she jumped onto his back.

‘Woah!’ Kousuke let go of a shout, caught by surprised. Then he laughed at her hopelessness, ‘Sora, be careful.’

‘…Sorry…’ she apologised, letting go of him.

‘No, it’s alright... I’ll never get mad at you, no matter what happens. And even if I do, I’ll definitely forgive you,’ he said idly as he continued walking in the direction he was going towards earlier.

‘Kou-chan!’ Sora exclaimed. Kousuke turned around since she called his name and didn’t say anything else. He saw tears brimming in her eyes.

Kousuke freaked out a little. ‘Sora!?’

‘I love you!’ she yelled, jumping on him once again, throwing her arms around his neck.

‘…’ Kousuke blushed and replied quietly, ‘…I love you too, Sora.’]

Kou-chan has always been a gentle person. He’s kind and was never mean to anybody… of course, he may have changed over the past 8 years, I’d considered that. But… he forgetting about me is a possibility that I’d intentionally pushed to the bottom of my thoughts. It was the last thing that I wanted to happen.

‘So Kuramaki, of all places, why did you come to Kazeichi for a holiday?’ Taichi wondered curiously. Then he quickly added, ‘I mean, this town is great and all and is sort of famous, yeah, but you came here straight after graduating high school, right?’

‘I… have been here before, as I’d said earlier… I really like it here, so…’ Sora replied reluctantly. Now, for some reason, she didn’t want Kousuke to remember her. At least they’d have to be somewhere private. As she thought about Kousuke again, the sadness she felt clearly showed on her face. She blinked her eyes furiously to stop the tears that were threatening to fall any minute.

‘I see,’ Taichi responded, nodding up and down solemnly. ‘Now, another question. Why did you decided to stay at Hanairo ryokan, of all places?’ he asked, a cheeky looking grin on his face. Kousuke frowned in irritation.

‘Why? I…’ Sora trailed off. She can’t really say that it was because of Kousuke.

‘Yes, plus, how did you know about the Touno family?’ Kousuke asked, making it sound like it was just any normal question.

‘…’ Sora didn’t know what to say. ‘…my parents…’ she began slowly. ‘…came to this town when the Touno family were still running the ryokan,’ she finished. It wasn’t a lie.

‘I see. It hasn’t been that long ago, after all,’ Kousuke muttered. Sora caught a small hint of sadness in his voice. She quickly peered up to see a worried looking Taichi and a silent Kousuke.

Now she was very worried. She had never seen Kousuke being sad before. …but we were still kids then. There weren’t many things that could’ve made us sad… especially more so because Kazeichi is a happy and peaceful town. She smiled wistfully at the last thought.

Suddenly, Taichi began exclaiming out loud cheerily, ‘Ah! Our food is here!’

Sora looked up quickly.

 ~oOo~

Okaaayyyy! 8D That's all I got up to... so far. 

That was mostly just for R-chan to read, but I wouldn't mind if you guys leave a review as well? 

> That's not even a complete chapter, by the way...

Anddd... I think I moved things along a little too fast... it should go slowly... and as time goes along, the characters develop and more flashbacks happens, etc....
Of course, the above version still needs more editing. My writing is weird and hard to use in a touching story, that's all. ><