さようなら 2015年、ようこそ 2016年!!

It's been such a long time since I actually stepped foot into this website. Like what, two years? Yeah, that's probably about it.

For the past year I've been restraining myself from positing on Facebook and ended up saying the most insignificant little things all on twitter. I feel that it made my Facebook page a lot more positive and clean, but well, twitter's you know... it's twitter!! Ahahahahaha.

I don't really have much to say, I guess...???

2015 was another eventful year for me as I entered Year 12, well-known here for being a year of doom, a.k.a. university entrance preparation year.
Well, to be short one studies so hard their brain pops out and yet might still not have a seat in their university of choice. Oh, the competitiveness.
Other than studying it's a year of touring around taking university entrance exams.
Here in Thailand we have two major entrance systems: university-held direct admission and public admission. I won't go into details. Why? 'Cause it's a pain.
I've been using up a lot of the family's finances this year, traveling down to Bangkok and taking some exams that were only held there.

I also took the IELTS, and received an overall score of 8 (out of 9). To tell you the truth for a moment there I was quite scared about the outcome, haha.  I don't even know why when I speak English like it's my first language anyway... well okay, the test fees definitely made it about five times more scary than it should be!!

I also took the exam for the Japanese Government Scholarship, a.k.a. Monbukagakusho (MEXT) for Undergraduates.
I was pretty surprised when I passed the written exam.
I was also pretty surprised when I passed the interview.
I became 1 of the 19 candidates whose names were sent to the Ministry of Education (abbreviated) of Japan for the "final selection". The final selection is when the Ministry of Education (abbreviated) selects students from all around the world to become an "applicant" for the scholarship.
By the way, this scholarship is godly. It's a free scholarship (means you don't have to pay back) and you get a monthly pay for daily necessities. Like, you can live off the scholarship money alone.
Well, unfortunately I didn't pass the final selection but that's that. A lot of people I met at the scholarship briefing after the interview results came out also didn't make it so I didn't feel too bad, ahahahaha.

Other than that what made me really happy was passing the JLPTs. In Thailand it's held twice a year, once in June and once in December.
In December of 2014, I took the N5 and passed that. The score wasn't that great, but it was still at a satisfactory point I guess. Then in June 2015, I took the N4. I passed that, too, although my score was really too close to failing for comfort.
Just in early December a few weeks ago, although I knew that with my N4 score like that it would be near impossible to pass N3 right off the bat, I took the N3 exam anyway.... and still waiting for the results.

Right now I'm waiting for a lot of results, actually. A lot of which would decide if I'll be able to get a seat in my university of choice, haha.....

Also, I might as well add that I'd decided to pursue a career in Political Science, International Affairs (International Relations) or, as a second choice, (International) Economics.

...and here I thought I didn't really have much to say. Anyway, it was just me rambling on and on...

Well, now that I'm here I might as well add that in early 2015 I became acquainted with Thailand's branch(es) of the Kinokuniya Book Store...
And I fell in love.
I immediately became a regular customer.
I now read the
---Hana to Yume (formerly serialized Fruits Basket, Gakuen Alice,  Special A, etc... Currently serializing Akatsuki no Yona, Skip Beat!, Kamisama Hajimemashita, Oresama Teacher etc...) and
--Lala (formerly serialized Kaichou wa Maid-sama!, Kanata Kara, Vampire Knight, Ouran High School Host Club, etc... Currently serializing Akagami no Shirayukihime, Natsume Yuujinchou, Last Game, etc...)
magazines periodically as they arrive in Thailand every bi-weekly/monthly respectively and I also collect Japanese volumes of some of my most favourite mangas (that'd be Akatsuki no Yona and Akagami no Shirayukihime, FYI) even though they cost about 4 times more than the Thai versions...
Well, the quality of the manga volumes are definitely better in the Japanese version than the Thai version though, and somehow, I just can't hold back~~~~

Well, of course a lot of other things happened in 2014 and 2015 but just that these are the most that I can remember from the top of my head at the moment and I'm getting kinda tired and I can no longer bothered to type anymore so let's just stop here.

Adios,
Mahou Mage.

Report Card, Semester 1 2012

I just took a look at my results for last semester.

4 Bs, otherwise all As.

The following are the categories that I got a B in:-
Strings, Achievement
English, Achievement
Science, Achievement
Science, Effort

I don't feel anything... Nah.
I really don't care any more, it seems...
I bet you I wouldn't even feel anything even if I'd gotten A in every single thing. I might feel something if I'd gotten Bs or less in everything, though... fear, because I was afraid that my mum or dad or someone would say something...

Although I am glad to be able to get away from my Science teacher. Now it's less murder intent coming from me daily, during school days. ^^
I'm not looking forward to the classes (simply because I don't really want to do anything, let alone go to school and study...), but fortunately it looks like all my teachers next semester are likeable people. :)
Hmm, well, except for one mysterious teacher which I know of not, but meh.

The subjects I'll be taking next semester goes as follow:-
English (compulsory)
Maths Extension/Maths B (compulsory)
Maths C (sounds fun~)
Information Technology, IPT and/or ITN (I really want to learn programming. Just saying.)
Music (apparently, there's a lot of work in this subject. I'm now simply going to see how badly I will fail! the "performance" assessment is not something I look forward to...)
Physics (...I should pick a Science to do.)
Work Education (compulsory, only two lessons per week... now, if only that could diminish to zero)
Japanese (extra, two online Distance Education lessons per week during lunch hour ^^)
Instrumental Music, Strings (also extra, one lesson per week plus Orchestra rehearsal once a week)

I'd picked Chemistry, Economics and Italian, but I was kicked out of Chemistry during the picking-process and they decided to throw me into Physics instead ><, Economics was dropped since not enough people chose it (damn the idiots who doesn't see the invaluable knowledge they could gain!), Italian clashed with IT, and I certainly didn't want to sacrifice IT for Italian.
Fortunately I got the Maths C, but I have a feeling that that's because the amount of people who'd picked this subject was just enough for a class... so to say, they will put everyone who'd picked this subject, in that subject.

Apparently, according to many of my acquaintances, many people hate maths (although I have met people who like Maths as well...). I still wonder exactly why to this day.
The Maths at our school is so easy it hurts me every lesson - always makes me want to scream in agony.
Think about having to learn SURFACE AREA in Grade 10 (with a Scientific Calculator), goddammiitttt!!
Yet... people still seems to struggle with it.
Ahh, thinking about this is putting me in bad mood. =*=

So, then, adios.

From,
Mage-chan.

To Lie... or Not to Lie?

Uarrrgghhh!! I hate it when this happens! I hate it, I hate it!!!
It makes me want to... bang my head against the wall, really, really hard so that I could come up with a proper solution to the damn problem.

I hate it when I'm asked to comment my thoughts on something... because most of the time, I'd be stuck between telling the truth or lying.
There are complications to both of them.

This time, I have to comment about my thoughts on the story of Sadako and the Atomic Bombing.

"It was somewhat of a sad story, but… little children dying isn’t any new; it’s still a normal occurrence in today’s society, even. Kids die of starvation and diseases every minute somewhere on the globe. That’s how the world is, so I didn’t feel anything too much, reading about Sadako.

War isn’t anything too new, either. ...Although it did make me feel lucky yet unlucky at the same time. Lucky that I was born into this world into a time without war and so much suffering, but if I was born then, then I might have been able to commit suicide nice and easily. Getting blown to bits by a bomb instantly sounded quick and highly possibly painless. Oh, and pain and suffering is nice to feel at a young age, so that when I grow up I won't be spoilt and lazy, too. :D

It must've been painful for her to get Leukaemia at such a young age, but life is evil. I envy her a little to have been able to reduce all the pain she'll receive in 80-ish years into a shorter 10. ...Although of course I envy the ones who isn't even born yet or had only spent a few seconds, minutes, or less, on his hideous, annoying earth more.

Honestly, I don't care about what had happened to Sadako - I don't know her, so it is a bit hard to feel anything. 

However I was touched at how the other kids built the memorial, though, but felt that, at the same time, their described emotions and thoughts was sort of stupid (not the act of building the memorial itself, though)... 
Of course they couldn't have done anything, they all were a bunch of little children. Life does that to you. Sometimes the things you care about can be taken away from you just like that, but there's nothing you can do. Absolutely nothing.

Pain is guaranteed in life.
And I just don't believe in hope. Hoping only hurts more after a miserable failure; something that I have faced already and... don't particularly wish to feel again.


Death can’t be escaped, and some sort of pain is guaranteed to be felt some time in life, and many people around the globe are trying to preserve life and give happiness to others… it’s almost laughable how people try to struggle against something almost inevitable.

Reading the story made me feel depressed, more than anything. I was reminded vividly once again why I don't want to live so much..."

...THERE'S NO FREAKIN' WAY I CAN ACTUALLY WRITE THAT!!! DDX

I... I sound so evil! ...>.>

Those are some of my real thoughts, because I don't really care about Sadako - she's already dead, and I don't know her, so feeling sad for her comes after all that cynicism and pessimism I have.

However, I don't like lying.

But I don't want to reveal to sensei my real, real thoughts either. Revealing her that I want to die is not very tactical, I don't think... =.="

Oh my god, I really hate this...

I need to rephrase it so that I write half-truths... not lying, just withholding... certain information! ~(>O<)b

Japan's Influence; Strangely Close By

I just discovered something... somewhat interesting.

There's a regular at our restaurant called David (yes, that is his real name). He comes approximately every week or so to order takeaway.

After I came back from ma' Sydney trip, my boss asked me, "Hey, you know that David? The one who orders takeaway?"

Me: "...yeah?" For a moment there, since that was when I was still ultimately obsessed with blogging, went, "Wait, what!?" ...but soon realised that what came to my mind was [beyond] impossible to be true. :P (if you don't know what I'm implying, then just don't worry about it!)

Her: "He can speak Japanese?"

Me: "What...!?" Did I just hear the word "Japanese"?

Her: "He brought along Japanese friends the other day; he spoke to them."

Me: "...whaaaaaat did you just sayyy!??"

I finally ran into him again around a week later when he came for his usual takeaway.

Me: "...I heard you brought over Japanese friends while I was away."

Him: "Yes..." *nods*

Me: "You can speak Japanese?"

Him: "Yes..." *nods*

Me: "Are you... fluent?"

Him: "Yes..." *nods*

I screamed mentally.

Him: "..I was in Japan for 8 years." And he smiled...

I screamed mentally and jumped around physically.

Next time I met him and I asked him a few more questions, and I was extremely surprised to find out that he'd gone to Japan as an English teacher! O.o

He just didn't look like... a teacher, that's all...

But, oh my! To think that someone I see every week had stayed in Japan for 8 years! Even if I knew nothing about him than what he likes to eat, his name and what type of credit card he has... :P

School Life; Assessments After Assessments

I finally finished my second last exam for this term.

I now just have 4 assignments and one exam left until school holidays come round again. ...which would then come more exams and assignments, and the cycle continues.

The exam I'd done earlier today was my [2nd] Japanese Speaking Exam, something that has been freaking me out for quite a while.
I did it, and when sensei said "arigatou", I was so shocked I turned speechless. "...Is that it!?"
"Yes, that was it."
"..." I blinked. "I... I see..."
It was insanely easy, and she asked me those questions, what is your name, how old are you, what grade are you in, what are your hobbies, what do you do on Sundays, what did you do today...
Most of which I have already known for a while, and what I was worried over didn't appear much (て form, time), and the exam itself didn't last long, unlike my Year 9 one.

And even though sensei had straight away told me that I got an A, I was still worried over my results. Which didn't make that much sense. Maybe it was because my Reading Exam still needs marking. But then again, the Reading Exam was easy as well...
Usually when I finish an exam, I'd feel relieved that I'd finally finished it, with few difficulties. Or if it was lots of difficulties, I wouldn't worry about it too much since there wasn't anything I could do to change my results no longer.
But somehow, today, the feeling lingered. The worry didn't lift off. I can still feel it now.
Maybe it's because the draft for my English assignment is due this Friday and I haven't even started yet. I have to write a prologue or epilogue for To Kill A Mockingbird. But I have no idea what to write about. However it's only 400-800 words, so I'll be able to finish it in one day.
Or it could be the Maths exam. But then that's also strange. Never in my life have I ever felt this worried over a Maths exam. Simply because Maths is easy, and I've always been confident enough that I was sure I'd get at least a B...
Or maybe with the Science, SOSE and Italian assignments?
Science is a presentation, pairing up with a classmate to present to the class about climate change, or other such related topics.
SOSE is another presentation, about diseases.
And Italian is a brochure about the region in which we are in - I have to advertise it. Something I find myself stuck on... I don't go out, I don't know any restaurants, I feel extremely forced having to praise Australia so much...

But now that I've finished the exam that had been worrying me the most, I can change my focus into the other assignments and in catching up, since I'm still like, 10 weeks behind everyone else in the Year 10 class... =="

Oh, but wait! There's also somewhat good news! I may be able to take Economics next semester! :D My other friend and I were just saying how we'd wished that we get to do Economics in Year 10 Sem 2, but it wasn't in the list, so we thought our hopes were lost...
But when we went onto the computers for [fake, preparatory, just to see] Subjects Selection, Economics was one of the subjects we could do! ><
...but then again, if not enough people pick the subject, there won't be a class.... I don't think there will be that many people, personally. I mean, not many actually knows what Economics is, do they?? (I have had a couple of people asking what it is once I'd mentioned it before, you see.)

So, yeah, that can, once again, lead to total disappointment. Yes, so logically speaking, it wouldn't come true anyway. I should actually forget about that chance, now...

Also, today, I'd went to school with "be silent" in mind.
I was pretty silent, most of the time. ...And when I actually spoke to my friend in full sentences, I regretted them. ...so next time, tomorrow maybe, I should stick to the rules. :D

Uniqlo

Oh, my. It doesn't sound Japanese, but it's a Japanese... thing.

A while back a friend of mine mentioned it briefly in an email and I had absolutely no idea what it was, but I didn't ask either. :P [I'd suspected that it would make myself appear considerately stupid, since he said it like it was something very well-known and normal for people to know about...]

Today I decided to google it, and discovered that it was a retail (?) company!
And they also operate in Thailand, it seems, something that I'm not really surprised in - I mean, look; we get translated anime, manga, light novels, drama series, and even drama CDs from Japan, Korea, China and even Taiwan!! XD
I'd expect no less, from our bond with the other East Asian countries!

And I'd expect no less from myself to never have heard of such a company, either. Simply because I have no interest in the fashion industry... and I don't think I have time for such an unimportant interest, either...

If Only I Was Index*

*Index is an anime character from To Aru Majutsu no Index who has a photographic memory.

This is impossible.

I feel the need to scream, to throw a tantrum, to kill, to stab, to bang, to slam.

What's impossible? Mastering the て Form is.

Now, I am not that retarded or extremely slow, stupid or anything of that kind that makes me impossible to learn anything.
Mastering the て Form is possible - very possible. But mastering the て Form in two days when you exclude school, sleep, and 3 hours of part-time is freakin' impossible.
For me, anyway. :/

~

Also, I have an update to add to my Exams.

Three more exams have popped up this past week.

The first two - I have landed myself two more Japanese exams; a Speaking Exam and a Reading Exam. I talked to my new teacher of my new Year 10 Japanese class, and she wants me to do the Year 10 exams so that she can write my report card... At first she wanted me to do also do the Listening and Writing Exams.
First let me explain that the Speaking and Reading Exams is supposed to be done in Term 1, while the Listening and Writing Exams is in Term 2. And technically speaking, if I want to pass the Listening and Writing Exams, that means I have to learn everything in Term 1 and 2... in under a week!!! So I told her that it was just impossible. So then we decided to just do the Term 1 exams - the Speaking and the Reading. ...but learning everything in Term 1 in under a week is still not that easy. :/

And the other one - a Mathematics Exam... which I don't have that much against, but I still... for some reason, I am unreasonably worried about failing it. Oh, for god's sake! I have never gotten anywhere near a fail mark in Maths before, so for what reason am I so worried about failing? (By the way, to me, usually, C = Fail. B = Not that great, but acceptable. A = ...yeah. 'S good, I guess.)

Hahh...

The other day, I was going through some of my Japanese homework which I was "catching up" on.
My friend who was doing Year 10 Japanese was also sitting there.
I did one of the activities then asked her, "Hey, is this right?"
She took a look at it and then said, a little airily, "I don't know... We didn't look at it much."
...which pissed me off considerately. I would have bashed my head against my books if I'd actually been intelligent enough to come up with the idea then. Instead I'd stomped the ground, slapped my knees with the books in my hands, and took deep breaths... it was another unreasonable irritation, after all.
...Seriously, I'm so unreasonable I can't believe someone can be so unreasonable! I'm the most unreasonable person I've ever known [in real life]!
Then I did something I ultimately regret. Despite the fact that my friend didn't look like me jumping around and abusing myself with books in frustration bothered her at all, I explained why I was annoyed. ...I really should have just remained silent. 
Even my explanation in itself was a total failure.
I was annoyed because that was my first time seeing it. I haven't even read the textbook on it yet! (mine's still shipping). And here she says "we didn't look at it much". Now, compare "this is my first time ever seeing  this sentence structure" and "we didn't look at it much"...
:D

Yes, that is all.

...I really should just continue remaining silent! I've been talking way too much lately. I should try to limit my speaking to... what, hmm, maybe 20 sentences per day? :D

I should record everything I say for referencing for improvement. :)

Down the Drain

Goodness, my motivation to not go into a state just disappeared down the drain.

Sinking~

Hahh, I should be studying right now but I just feel like banging my head against the wall. :D But, nyeah, I'd better go study, because time is precious!!

Yep, that's all. :)

From,

Mage-chan~

The End of a Week, the Start of Another...

This is a summary of what happened today and lately, I guess....

Goodness gracious, another week has already passed by! And next week, I have more exams to come!

So, lately, I’ve been despising Science a lot like usual, loving Maths + dying at the sheer uber-ultra easiness of it, at a war between like-n-dislike with English, loving the teacher + actually failing at the subject in SOSE, enjoying and working hard in ICT since it’s quite interesting, slacking off like usual in Italian, trying to catch up + go ahead, if possible in Japanese, hating and despising and slacking off at Work Education like usual, and ma’ violin neglected in the corner of my mind somewhere, like always.

I’ll have to try my best in catching up in 15 weeks’ worth of work in Japanese – I actually don’t have to do all of the tasks from the very start of the term, but I will! Because I’d feel unfair to the other students, and it’s better for me to learn this way. :)

Presently, my mind is in a weird sort of state – it’s extremely laggy, tired, and considerately depressed deep inside, but in my conscious, I’m not in a state of depression. My mind’s too occupied for such things… no, I’m just too busy for such things! I don’t have time to waste with more pointless moping!

But, but, my desire to die has not decreased at all! Oh well, wanting to die isn’t such a big deal.

Now, you know how in the above I have stated that I’m loving the teacher in SOSE? :P

B-sensei is awesome; you never really learn what you need to know, but you learn lots of other things instead, and you’d rarely ever need a pen or pencil in his classes.

At the moment we’re studying the History and Geography of Diseases.

And somehow we ended up discussing – well, B-sensei ended up talking to us about, “how our generation is the first generation to not be able to cope with death.” To him, he’d said, that death is just normal, an everyday life thing. He said that our generation is the first to have counsellors and such come to the school if someone here dies. He also said that he couldn’t understand why we’re so upset and can’t cope when someone dies.

I don’t disagree with him at all, except I think that the reason that our generation is unused to death is because we grew up in the era of development in where medical science has improved vastly. So that means less deaths occurs, and we who grows up in the middle-class society doesn’t see much of it no longer, and aren’t immune like the older generations.

Quoting B-sensei, “The risk attached to loving someone is to know that they’ll have to die someday.”

And according to him, “Deaths and taxes are the only things we cannot avoid.” XD Ahahaha, lol.

Also, earlier today, a new takeaway menu arrived at the restaurant – the “prototype” anyway.

The front page looks terrible, and so does a few more things (the text inside has been enlarged though, compared to the current one). :/ Who the hell designed it??

But the thing that’d caught my attention the most was this big line on the front page, “The Best Thai Restaurant in [ENTER SUBURB NAME HERE].”

I was like, DDD8!!! They… They have such nerves to use such a line! How!? How did they come up with this idea!? How shameless must they be to be able to use this line to associate with our restaurant!? I mean, I’d have had no problems if they’d used the word “food” instead of “restaurant”, because our food really is awesome, but, the word is not “food”!!

I decided to not use them unless totally necessary; I refuse to let them out into the outside world! ><

Also, we got a complainer. A weird one.

This woman called approx. one hour after she’d left the restaurant – to complain about the table she’d been seated on! She complained that the table was not to her liking (but a lot of other customers really like that table).

Da hell? Ain’t it a little late to be saying that?

I hear she sounded drunk, too.

After my boss had hanged up, I asked her what it was about, exactly. Deducting from hearing only one part of a conversation doesn’t always result in a precise answer, after all…

She said that the customer had complained that one of our waitresses didn’t understand what she’d been trying to say and weren’t able to communicate, etc. etc. (she also complained about the table, though, but this waitress was also the one who’d seated her, I’d think)

Then at that very moment when my boss had relayed to me the customer’s complaints, that very waitress walked by and decided to play with my hair. =*=

…I think she was trying to get herself fired.

Well, she didn’t understand what we were saying, of course, since we were speaking in Thai, but the boss was standing right in front of me, so if she had enough common sense, she wouldn’t do that in the first place!!!

~

And once again, for some reason, I want to sleep. And it’s barely 10 o’clock. My usual bedtime is at midnight, and even then I’d usually – almost every day – still be feeling quite awake.

But yesterday I actually went to bed at 11.20pm, 40 minutes later than usual. I was actually yawning, at that time of the day!

I wonder if it was because I was feeling bored, though… :/

Hmm… since I’ve had this same schedule (work 5 days at night, + Sunday lunch, go to school, etc) for a while now, I shouldn’t suddenly become tired so quickly…

Dammit, it’s annoying. =*=

Rushin' Around - Japanese Exams~

Today was a pretty busy day for me! And I was also annoyed because everything just had to land on almost the same time!

Today, my violin lesson time and the time I'd scheduled my Japanese Speaking Exam collided! (I'm doing Japanese through Distance Education, for those who doesn't know.)
And because I didn't have a Year 9 Japanese lesson... wait, this is a bit complicated.

Let me start from the start.

Year 8 Japanese is the very beginner Japanese. I was put into this class at the start of this year since I've never done any official Japanese with a proper teacher before.
But I was too good, so they moved me up to Year 9 Japanese. :P
But then I was too good again! ...okay, they wanted to move me up so that I can do Year 11 Japanese when I'm in Year 11 - this way I can get the extra points when I graduate. At least that's what I think. So one day I received an email from my Year 9 Japanese teacher saying that my work has been very good, and that I can move up to Year 10 Japanese if I wanted to.
I took the opportunity. And so, this week is exam week, and I have to do the End-of-year Year 9 tests.

I don't have a Year 9 lesson today because of NAPLAN (those of you who ain't Australian - NAPLAN is practically a compulsory nationwide numeracy and literacy exam for Year 3,5,7,9 students [National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy, I think, from the top of my head])
So I am free to choose whether I want to use that as a spare lesson or to go to my normal class, which is Science.

Our school's schedule goes like this: Period 1, Morning Tea/Recess, Period 2, Period 3, Lunch Break, Period 4.
I usually have my Year 9 Japanese lesson in period 2, where my normal class is Science, which means I miss Science once every week. Period 3 I usually have a Work Education class, but this week my violin lesson landed on this spot - as did my Speaking Exam. The "make-up" time slot for violin lessons is in period 2, and it's split into the first half and the second half - my teacher told me to go to the second half.
So I decided to go to my Science class, then to the make-up lesson, because the Science exam is also looming near.

In the end, I ended up doing this:
Science for 20 minutes, then rushed to a make-up violin lesson that went for 20 minutes.
Then I went to my Speaking Exam that went for around 23 minutes.
I dashed back to the music block to continue my violin lesson - which was supposed to be at this time, anyway, which went for approx. 30 minutes (- usually the lessons takes around 50 minutes).
Then I went to my normal class at that time to catch up - in 20 minutes, before that period ended!
And while I was relaxing since it was lunch time, I remembered that I'd intended to do the last of my Japanese exams, the Writing Exam, at that time!
So then I rushed to the "International Education and Languages Department" to grab my exam, which I rushed in doing... a little. I finished the exam which was meant to go for 40 minutes in 25 minutes just in time for last period. As the bell signalling students to head for their period 4 class rang, I threw my pencil down, rushed out of the library (in which I was doing the exam at), and dashed back to the "International Education and Languages Department", put my finished exam in the right folder then hurried to my period 4 class, trying to not be late.

All in all, it was a very successful day! :D

...So, talking about exams. The Japanese exams were ridiculously easy!! Way too easy!
I easily did them, and definitely passed them, without even studying! No, really. I didn't study. Not really, anyway.
Because I didn't feel the need to - I remembered what I'd learnt when I'd studied them, and so looking at everything that we've already learnt just makes me feel like I'm wasting my time, since I already knew everything! I just flipped through the textbook and revision sheets to make sure that I haven't missed out anything, but that's all.

The Listening Exam freaked me out, but not because I thought I would fail - seriously, who made those recordings!? It was so weird, and they were talking unnaturally slow...
The Reading Exam was also insanely, ridiculously easy...
Truth be told, I guess the only ones I'm really worried about are the Writing and Speaking Exams (if this is the Japanese ones we're talking about, that is)... the hard ones. ><
About the writing... well, I'm never sure of myself anyway! Even if I couldn't have made it any better, didn't rush, studied all day and all night, I'd still be worried over it! It's in my nature!
After I'd finished the Speaking Exam, my illogical mind was telling me that I must've failed. But at the same time my logical mind told me that I would've at least gotten a pass. Even if sensei had said those words to me after the exam, "Your pronunciation is outstanding! Your ability to change verb forms on the spot is amazing!" ...and other such praises. But even with that I cannot hold on to the certainty that I will retain an A! Because even with those words, I could still get a B, even a C! Oh, the devastation! ><

I want an A, no, I want all As on my Japanese exams! Because I've always been adept at learning the language, but I've never been officially assessed before, and these were my first Japanese exams in my entire life!
I feel a strange sense of dread, accomplishment, development and progress!

Sydney: Kinokuniya Bookstore

...I'd cursed.

Why, of all days, did there have to be a freakin' festival/event at Kinokuniya Bookstore? And a Cosplay Competition, plus an autograph session featuring several comic writers?
I don't give a damn.
Because, truthfully, I don't really care about Cosplay. Na. It's the truth. I'm not really interested in it, and I think the past year I was faking some excitement... not quite sure; after all they're just clothes. Oh, yes, now I realised. My "well, they're sort of cool, but I don't really care that much" towards Cosplay just turned into "meh, I don't give a damn about them - actually, I wish to never see them again in my entire life, if possible" because of my experience shopping earlier.

...I still don't know why I hated the shopping so much, by the way. ...I'm just hating everything at the moment, I guess, because I hate the world, so in turn I also begin to hate everything in it. Yes, maybe that's really it... Hmm... :/

So because of the damn event, Kinokuniya was hell crowded, making something that was supposed to be a happy moment for me terrible... I'd endured through approx. 3 hours of tagging along and spent around 20 minutes walking to Kinokuniya in the freezing, cold, windy air, and was finally at the location of desire...
And the world just had to put the damn event on today. =*=
Meh, I guess it's our fault for coming today. Yes, our fault..

I brought a Bleach book thing; it has all those extra information and stuff, plus something that I had wanted to read for quite a while now... and that's Death Note: Another Note, The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases novel :3. I was going to buy Bleach: The Character Book of Souls 2 as well, since I had the first book, but my money was short so I had to get rid of some stuff.
And there was another book that I had to return to the shelves; a certain series that I had wanted to read for a while, because of the main character's description. I'm sure I would like the main character quite the amount, (unless he changes because of some ridiculous twist in the story...) and the series that I'm talking about, is, of course, Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei!! :D I was immediately interested in it as soon as I'd read the blurb at the back; I'm sure I can empathise with him nicely and not become annoyed at his attitude. :)
'Tis the blurb:

From MyAnimeList:
Itoshiki Nozomu is always in despair! Even simple things like paying for the toll on the subway can send him to a despair so deep only attempted suicide is the answer. How Strange is it then, that he should be the teacher of a High School Class filled with students with even more emotional problems than his. This great Comedy will leave you in anything but 'Despair' as you meet each of his students and watch their wacky adventures.

From AnimeNewsNetwork:
Itoshiki Nozomu is the world's most negative person. To his way of thinking, there is no hope or meaning in this existence. Even the three kanji of his name become the two-kanji word zetsubou, "despair", when compressed. What an ironic twist of fate, then, that he becomes teacher to a class containing his precise opposite, the invincibly positive-minded Fuura Kafuka

But if this series ended up being something that tries to make people think positively or has some sort of positive twist to it... I'd be madly disappointed. :(

Anyhow, apart from those books I just brought a few pencils and pens... that's all...

...Let me finish the post with this;
Ahh, how I hate living.

Sydney: Feels More Like a Capital City Than Canberra Does

Yes, I'm in Sydney. :3

Anyone who'd been in both Sydney and Canberra will totally understand what I'm saying in my post title. :3

In one day I'd just used up approx. $290 AUSD.
That is just sad.
And it took me only 5 hours.

And now I'm already tired from all that walking.

I also just had a very memorable first - that proved to me that my otaku soul is still alive and burnin'~ :3
I ate my first curry-pan!!!! God damn it, it was delicious. I am so bringing some back with me... xD
And there's also an-pan/s and green tea flavoured cake...
This is what you'd call a city life!!!

The place we're staying at is awesome, too. It's approx. 100 metres away from Chinatown (where all the awesome stuff are :P), and right next to the Sydney Central Station (the train station, and there's a Bus station across the street as well).

And just now I checked my email and my Japanese teacher just sent me a really awesome link: http://anime-manga.jp/index_english.html. For all of us who are learning Japanese and loves anime and manga, check it out! It looks so awesome! 8D

...you must have realised it by now. I'm out of my State of Depression, which is good. Because it would just be sad if I'm depressed on the Sydney trip. :/

Okay, so we went to Paddy's Market.
After a while I separated with my other companions because they were going to buy cases for their i-things, while I don't have an i-thing, and so it was a waste of my time to stand around waiting for them.
I needed a new bag, so I went off. I went back to this store I'd saw earlier. The store had this... gothic-lolita sort of theme. Maybe not the "lolita" bit, but it was certainly gothic.
I asked for a look at one of them. I looked at it, then I walked off, thinking that I should look around first.
I could only walk around for a little bit because Paddy's Market is too damn big to go explore. Plus, that store was pretty unique, with its... gothic theme. (I think 90% of all things there were black).
I asked to look at another, and I stood there deciding for a while. Then I asked to look at another, and continued thinking.
Then suddenly someone else walked into the store and said, IN THAI, "How's it going? Selling well?"
And I was like, "Ow." < This does not mean I was hurt or in pain in any way. It's a Thai sound word (like "um", "oh", "eh", etc.) and equals to a "realisation" moment. So I realised something... hopes that made sense. ==
The two turned around slightly, and so I said, in Thai, "...so you're Thai. And we spent all that time talking in English."
It was quite amusing, I thought she was Chinese...! O.o
Hah, but lucky me, because once she realised that I was Thai she gave me a discount~! :D

Ah, Sydney~

However I am feeling quite irritated at the moment since we're planning on going to dinner, and one of my friends say that I MUST change my clothes.
Let me tell you that I despise dresses despite being a girl. And I despise make-up. And I despise dressing-up. And I also despise anything too girly... cute is alright though, I just don't... don't like adult-womenly stuffies... I don't look good in them anyway. =.,=
...You could almost call me a tomboy, actually. :P

Crecsendo, Keeping, Going and GONE

Oh mi gosh. O.o

I took the BDI again after approximately 2 or so weeks, and guess what I got? It increased by TEN points! O.o

Last time I took it I received a score of 28 (Moderate Depression), this time I got 38 (Severe Depression). Crap, it increased… and a lot, too. == (I discovered that I had Moderate Depression through the BDI only in February, and it’s April, so I guess it took me only 2-3 months to increase a level [unless I’ve had Moderate Depression for a long, long time now…] O.o)

Maybe that’s why I can’t really tell what’s pessimism and what’s depression anymore.

Must be all that visa and Work Experience stuff…

But who caressss! At the moment I’ve given up committing suicide, so it’s fine, isn’t it? It’s not like I’m going to go and randomly cut myself or anything either. :/ That’s not cool, really.

I’ve already decided to just ignore everything else, ignore what I want or what I feel, and only doing what I must, after all. That’s also why I’ve given up suicide [for the time being, mind you :P]. People tell me it’s wrong, you know it’s wrong, I know it’s wrong. And seeing that it’s so wrong, I decided to put it off; it’s a waste of time just thinking about it when I’m not actually going to do it [err… most likely] after all. So I’m just going to continue living, giving my best into what I must do.

Otherwise I’ll end up doing nothing.

I’ll be stuck in the same spot, I’ll never be moving forward.

I’m probably repeating myself here [and I most probably will again in the future, because I simply can’t not repeat myself xP], but I no longer care. I no longer give a crap about what happens. There’s really nothing to be hoping for – I don’t want to feel disappointed and irritated and sad and frustrated about things anymore. I’m completely running away, yes.  Then again, I’m sort of facing it at the same time – I’m continuing on living, so I’ll have to face them anyway, but since I’m no longer hoping for anything, there’s nothing for me to be disappointed at, is there?

Maybe one day I’ll turn back into that cheerful kid I once was, but it’s unlikely. I’ve matured. I now know that life is terrible, and reality is harsh.

There ain’t much in life to look forward to except ma’ death < okay, that was depression. Even I could tell. :P

I’ve turned into a realist in my course of being depressed, and I no longer believe in hopes and dreams – dreams are generally hard to achieve, anyway.

Wouldn’t you know how lucky you are to be one of the few to achieve something like a dream?

Haaah…

Anyhow, I shouldn’t even be talking about this – I shouldn’t even be blogging at all, if I wanted to follow all of my goals. But I feel for the readers.  But then that means I’m still doing something that I ‘want to’, something that isn’t a ‘must’. Maybe I’ll just limit my posting then. Yep, let’s do that.

I work 5 days a week so let’s make it 2 posts a week – one per one day-off. :)

I’ll have to limit my internet time to even less – I think I’ll have to drop some manga series that I’m following as well; since I can’t regularly check the “Manga Releases” page of mangafox, I’ll have to make it easy for me so that I won’t have to check which series has updated so many times.

Let’s see, let’s make it like this,

Ones that I’m not dropping;

<Weekly Series;>

Noblesse – the characters are cool, and I want to see what happens next. Like, quite badly.

Detective Conan – I’ve been following this manga for 10 years. I am NOT going to drop it now. >.>

Nononono – it’s finishing soon anyway, doesn’t make too much difference. ^^

Gintama – too funny; reading it soothes me. :)

<Monthly Series>;

Oresama Teacher – hilariously random, a light, enjoyable read. Want to see Takaomi and Mafuyu get together.

Pandora Hearts – one of the most twisted series ever, I desperately need to reread it otherwise I’ll never understand it, with its several confusing events. And I really want to see the end too… T^T

Yumekui Merry – it’s awesome, a unique story, and I want to see how it ends, if it will.

Cahe Detective Club – just to see what happens to the romance between Nana and Touma. :3

Kuroshitsuji – the new arc looks too good.
Natsume Yuujinchou - very heartwarming, it's another light, enjoyable read.

Ones that I’m planning on stopping reading then coming back later in approx. 3-6 months (planning on, anyway);

Saki and Saki: Achiga-hen Episode of Side A – I just want to see Saki meet Teru!! ><

Skip Beat! – I like the newest developments, so I want to see what happens next.

Crepescule (Yamchi)

Ageha 100% – I want to see the ending, which is coming in approx. two more chapters.

Aoiro Toshokan

Chronos -Deep-

Taiyou no Ie

Ai Dano Koi Dano

To Aru Kagaku no Railgun

Shitsuji-sama no Okiniiri

Bleach – let it finish first and I might return to it, one chapter contains too less material. :/

Sensei ni, Ageru – all the same reason…
The Legend of Sun Knight manhwa - it's too good... even if I've already read the Light Novel version... it's too good! ><

Ones that I’m planning on dropping;

Magico – I was planning on dropping it anyway; it’s getting more boring by the week.

Half Prince – I’ve already read the summary of the ending, so meh. I’ll just read the climax then the resolution after the scanlation of the manhwa and the translation of the Light Novel finishes.

The Nanoha series – just ‘cause.

Hayate no Gotoku – I want to finish/catch up to this series one day, but not now.

Hunter x Hunter – it’s good, but it’s sort of lagging. I’ll pick it back up one day. Probably.

Shibatora – meh. I’ve lost interest in this series.

Zettai Karen Children – it’s good, but I didn’t like the newest [where I’m up to]’s developments; plus I don’t support the main pairing. Droppable. Dropped.

Kaichou wa Maid-sama! – also droppable; it’s not so good to the point that I have to read every new chapter. :/

Ao Haru Ride – [nothing but] cheesy, cliché, sweet romance ain’t really for meh. :P

New Prince of Tennis – go read it and you won’t have to ask.

Yada~

Something You Feel When You Just Want Everything to End Already

This post is quite random and contains quite a few different topics... :/

My friend (the one in this post), has been very excited lately because of a scholarship she will be applying for; if you win, you get to go to Japan. Yes, JAPAN!!

She said that I should  go for it, too, but when she said that I was faced with despair...
She said that it was going to be during the summer holidays (that's December-January for you all who lives in the Northern Hemisphere).
But there's still the problem of my visa, and when she reminded me of that certain period of the year, I was pulled back into reality.


There are good and bad things if I go back.
Bad things;
1. My future will be totally ruined; I'll fail school and I won't be able to enter university.
2. My mum and I will no longer have an income.

Elaboration on Point 1; I'm simply too stupid to be able to pass any subjects in a Thai school, excluding English. And if I fail in high school, it also means that I won't be able to enter uni either. So if I move back, it means that it's the end of a successful school life for meh. In the past I've been too stupid to have the least thread of hope that I might be able to pass if I try hard enough, but, no, it looks like it's impossible. My mum says so. ==
Elaboration on Point 2; It's hard to get a job those days, especially when you're 55 and 15 (who's a failure at school).

Good things;
1. My mum won't have to work so hard anymore.
2. There'll be someone to look after the house in Thailand.
3. THE FOOD!
4. And my family; plus the living costs are less over there.

If I don't go back.
Bad things;
1. My mum will most probably die of exhaustion from working every freakin' day.
2. The pressure from our uncle's evilness who is our boss is a lot.
3. Our (rather new) house in Thailand will pretty much be abandoned.

Good things;
1. I'll be able to finish school and most probably enter university.
2. We'll continue having an income.


Over all, it's better if we stay, I guess, since the good things if I stay here are quite significant.
So now I want to stay, so that I can continue school properly.
However there are still unsolved issues about my visa.

My friend's innocent reminder reminded me of the fact, and it just so happened to be today that the application form for the renewal of the visa arrived.

Despite the fact that my friend's house problems are most probably worse than mine, she can still be ever so cheerful and dream on vividly.

We were also talking over Skype the other day, and I commented that I want to stay in Australia now, because of several reasons, and that I hope that Work Experience works out (at that moment in time I was saying that I hope I can tag along with her to that local university).
And she said that "of course it will! If you think it's fun, it will be fun."
I paused slightly at the second part of the sentence. ...huh? 
She thinks that I'll be "fine!".
At that moment in time I started to feel some despair. Does this mean the offer in that post linked above is now non-existent? She sounded like she's cheering me on and that I'll surely have fun. However I didn't mind tagging along with her at all; I thought that it will be awesome, actually. And she surely knows that I'll enjoy it, so does that that offer is now non-existent and I'll just have to do Work Experience myself now...?
But then I guess it'd already flown out of her mind, because the next day she came up to me to tell me about the aforementioned scholarship to Japan; she said that she was going to do it during the Work Experience week.
I didn't bring this up though, after all I was the one asking her for a favour. :/
So in the end, the offer became non-existent (most probably), and my friend might be going to Japan at that time. ^^
And depending on what happens, I might be failing in Thailand or... doing something...


...Ah, I'm back to wanting to die now.
Our percentage of going back to Thailand is over 50%.

I'm so tired of living.
Which is really strange; it makes me wonder why I'm already tired of living after a mere 15 years while some people lived to be over 100...
To compare, it's the kind of feeling you get when you haven't slept for a few days, yet you can't go to sleep. It's similar; I feel so tired of just waking up, eating, working, studying, doing ANYTHING everyday that I just want to enter eternal sleep already. I feel like I need to break free from all this living crap, and I just want to runaway from everything.
Whyyyy am I so weak? T^T
Aaah...

It makes me jealous of how some people had the freedom to do almost anything they want while I'm restricted to only being a failure (if I go back to Thailand). But then again there are more people who are worse of than me, so I should be happy that I still have food on the table and a roof over my head.
But once you're used to something, you begin to take it for granted, only until you realised just how lucky you are to have those in your reach.
Personally, I don't see how someone can be the least bit philanthropic in this world. :/

But then again, everything is my fault. If I'm not so stupid, I wouldn't become a failure when I go to Thailand. If I didn't lack so much drive, I might be able to go for things that I'd already given up on.

Personally, I don't think you can ever have total freedom in life. There will always be something to restrict you in some way or another, no matter who you are.

With several events occurring one after another, I want to just follow my following decisions successfully.

I've already dedicated my life to working and studying, and I sincerely hope I'll stay on track.
I've already decided to just trudge on, no matter how much I hate it.
For the moment I'm not going to attempt suicide, no matter how much I want to commit it.
I've already decided to not care about my own emotions because they are a pain and only gets in the way.
I've already decided to abandon all hope in life because all it does is let you down in the end.
...Yep, I've given up on thinking about the future since it'd end up being a failure either way; I don't want to care anymore. I'm just too tired to care about anything after thinking and planning about so many things.

However I'll still need to keep up a fake happy facade, so then other people won't worry about me unnecessarily. I hope I can successfully act happy on the outside while I've actually already given up on having emotions... hahhh...

With that said, I might as well quit manga and anime already.
I should also just quit blogging and writing and reading, and everything that is unimportant.

Usually I know that I'll come out of a State of Depression one day, but for some reason I think this state might last forever; at least I hope so (but it might not, after all, it's "hope"), because I've realised that life likes to let you down, and I've been disappointed and frustrated and sad and irritated too many times; it's already too tiring to keep up.

Yep, I'm just too tired to continue hoping for something that probably won't ever come.

So, Maybe There is a Happy Solution... As If... Unlikely...?

You know how I've been annoying you guys, ranting on and on [continuously and with a passion] about something as trivial as Work Experience? :P

My friend said she would ask whether I could come with her to same place she was going to, which was a local university. She was going to simply tag along with the Japanese professor there.
I was faced with a feeling of joy, but then I remembered that I shall not be too happy, as life never fails to make you suffer~ :)

However since Work Experience (or rather, Work Education) was one of the main causes of my Depression, I'd be quite happy if I can find a good, happy solution to that...
...but if the answer comes back as a no, from whoever my friend may be asking permission from, then I'd most likely guess that another State of Depression is going to come back~ ;)

And then it's back to the same old spot, that uncertain, dread-the-future, hang-in-there-don't-commit-suicide-yet spot...

As a result of what I'd stated in the What the Hell!? I'm so Annoyed and I Still Hate Unknowns post, I'm eagerly suppressing my hopes down to the lowest points possible.
Yes, I'd better keep it non-existent until it's been confirmed either yes or no...

But then again, my friends say if I believe it will happen, then it will happen. However that is ultimately impossible. No matter how much I willed it to happen, it may not happen if they don't allow it to happen. :/

All in all, it's best to not hope anything otherwise my State of Depression will just be worse, in the end...

Okay... Negativity, Deevi!??

Congrats, your name was in my blog post title!!
And in the post itself too, of course, Deevi, see I just typed it. :3

This post is on the same subject as the "negativity" post, so that's why it's named that, btw...
(But to blog about blog followers and blog posts... man, I feel like I have no life... :P)

That... uhh, ...friend I mentioned back in this post, the "negativity (yet not about negativity)" post?

He suddenly stopped replying, so I'm sorta worried now... did I say something wrong?
I thought I would wait a little since he usually takes around half a day to reply to my messages, but it's already been a week...
Should I send another one to him? :/

Maybe I accidentally fried his brain since that last message was extra long??
I did make sure to use simple English sentences though... maybe it wasn't that simple-sounding after all!??

I'm also sure it was sent through, since hotmail says so...
(Can I trust its words???)

Well, Japanese schools are much harder than ours... maybe he's busy studying? (He doesn't look like the studying type but if he failed then he'd have to repeat the year so no one would want to slack off...)
Maybe he grew tired of my ranting??
There wasn't much to talk about anyway... (plus communication is difficult, in terms of language barriers.)
I've heard he say two times in his reply messages now that he wants to come back to Australia. :P
And guess what the most successful "conversation" we had was about? Manga, OF COURSE!!! xD

(This guy always end his sentences with several exclamation marks or nothing at all, just saying... :P It's amusing, really...)

Oh well.
I'll just send him another message and see what happens...

HOWEVERRRR!!
With that said, I checked ma' inbox, and he just replied to my last message. :) It took him 9 days.
It's not that long, but it felt long, which is quite natural if you're waiting for replies.

He said that he was sorry and he had been busy...
Urr, but, 9 days...?
Isn't that a bit... too long?
Meh, nevermind...

Problem's already solved, so this post is once again another pointless one.
Then again, if you think about it, all the posts are pointless...

Multi-Linguality Can Cause Brain Damage, Hypothetically Speaking. それはほんとですよ。อืม จริงมากๆ ~Si, certo~

Sydney Trip has been confirmed!
Well, it's been booked. Can't exactly say that it's been confirmed until we actually go on the trip because lots of things could happen before then, e.g. the world blows up, Sydney/where I live gets hit by some sort of Natural Disaster... just to name a few. :)
Oh, hey, hello pessimism. :)

~
Okay, from now on I'll try to write the post in English then write a Thai version underneath. I need to practice my language skills otherwise I'll fail too badly in Thai/Thailand. ...I might not even be able to write a single word! Spelling in Thai is a tedious job that requires lots of intellect... I happen to not have much... (?)
It's also a pain since I'm terrible at typing in Thai - I really can't remember where almost all of the characters are located, unlike English, where I can speed-type without looking at the keyboard.

そして、はじめりますよ！

Err... what's "trip" in Thai again... @~@ Crap. Stuck on the first sentence. Dictionary, where are youuu...

การที่เราจะไปซิดนี้ย์ได้ถูกคอนเฟิร์มแล้ว! < That took me like 5 minutes to freakin' type up. I'm really going to fail unless I go to an International school. But they happen to be insanely expensive... :/ (Well, I've heard, anyway)
ก็คือว่าบุ๊กตั๋วแล้วนะน่ะ (oh my god. This is so tiring and irritation-inducing :/) ยังพูดไม่ได้เต็มคำหรอกว่าคอนเฟิร์มแล้ว เพราะว่าก่อนที่จะไปซิดนี้ย์อาจจะเกิดเรี่ิองอะไรบางอย่างขึ้น อย่างเช่น โลกอาจจะระเบิด ซิดนี้ย์หรือเมืองที่เราอยู่อาจจะโดนพัยภิบัดอะไรบางอย่าง ก็น่ะ :)
โอ ไง หวัดดี "ความมองโลกในแง่ร้าย" :)

Some Thai person out there please tell me how many words I'd managed to spelt wrong or how many other mistakes I'd managed to make. ==
I'm quite sure I got "natural disaster" incorrect...

~Never before had a small keyboard looked so big. :3

そうだな～　

。。。それじゃ、またね！

...Friendly, Language Problem, or Exaggeration?

I was just told that I was their "best friend!!!!" by someone whom I met for two days before they left the country. O.o

Isn't that just strange?
All we talked about was some manga and laughed a little, and says hi when we see each other...

When I asked if he "still remembers me" through a message, he replies back with a "of course!!! You're my best friend!!!!"
I was like; Woah. O.o
This guy I'm talking about happened to be Japanese, and his English is no where near perfect, but I can usually understand him. ...but was that a typo? We've known each other for less than a week, and only actually saw each other for the two days out of six since we've met!
But then a thought struck me as well. It was quite obvious. He has a cheerful, open sort of personality. You know, the type that would be able to befriend every single student in the school? Even one of the girls call him by name (unless they were childhood friends or somethin').
Maybe he thinks of everyone as his best friend? Then that would make a lot of sense.
If it wasn't a typo or his personality, then I think it must've been some sort of... dictionary problem. :P

But I'd think that it was his "everyone is my friend" personality.
Unless he was secretly making fun of me... =="

Most People Would Think I'm Weird. However I Just Lead a Different Lifestyle.

I'm beginning to dislike holidays.
Actually, I may already dislike them. Maybe not "holidays" as in day-offs, but definitely "school holidays".

There are several things that I have to do during the next two weeks before Term 2 starts.

My Holiday Tasks:

1. Redo Italian script for assignment, due next term
2. Make the Italian powerpoint for the assignment plus practice speaking (the script in #1)
3. Read To Kill A Mockingbird (for next term's English's Novel Study)
4. Look at Obentou Unit 8 (Japanese, starting that next term)
5. Forward with the Sharemarket Game (for information about the Sharemarket Game, read this)
6. Help Kaa-chan (I mean my mother) with IELTS tests (she needs to pass this to get another visa)
7. Go on Brisbane Trip with tomodachi and do Purikura (we planned on this last term, hopefully we'll get to carry it out...)
8. Progress with Four Leaf Clover Chapter 33 (my original story on Fictionpress.com)
9. Re-learn juggling (I've got my hands on really good juggling balls so I was planning on finally mastering the skill)
10. Attempt to master orchestra songs, remember the scales learnt in lessons; PRACTICE.
11. Catch up in Natsume Yuujinchou anime. Start Gintama and Full-Metal Alchemist.

Daammmmmn. =*=

And it's the holidays so now I have to work every freakin' day.

All the teachers and every other people think the same things. They think we have oh-so-much free time during the holidays so they give you work to do, thinking that we'd have lots of time to do them. =*=

I barely have time to read any manga. Well, that is, if I really follow on my plan without procrastinating, which is quite impossible...

So I'm still reading manga. But knowing that I have lots of other stuff to do makes me irritated as hell.

Although my mood right now is quite good, with the news about going to Sydney and all... :3

So then, so long,

From,

Mage-chan~ ^^

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I'm going to die! I'm going to die from information overload!! I'm going to die from excitement!

Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

Ahem. Sorry. This is what happens when I get over-excited. I become extremely hyper. ==

So what is the reason for me being over-excited?
JAPANESE, is what is making me over-excited. >.> I got a bunch of emails from my new (first time for me, too. It doesn't help.) teacher...
It's Distance Education, so things work a little differently...

But...
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!

I forgot to tell you. I don't become like this just because I'm over-excited. I become like this when I'm over-excited and extremely nervous.
=*=...It's more because of the nervousness, actually. I just didn't use the right word earlier. Yeah, the nervousness is more like it. Not the over-excitement, but the extreme nervousness...

*siighhh*

Then I become extremely drained afterwards, after going hyper...

Oh, but I must not forget that I have a violin lesson tomorrow, as well as my (first ever) Japanese lesson... okay... calm... down... fe9qy[t b5NG-9C02-vrn ]g93-\ 6=N4MT2]Y%^&*()D(&GHIOF j ir=qpie-uy!!!!>!#(#*

Nope, I didn't calm down...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

I'm not making ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Extreme nervousness, I say. ==