I really need to stop this. I really, really need to stop it. I really, really seriously need to stop this.
Something is wrong with me... wait, something has always been wrong with me... >.>
I keep being so fractious around one certain friend; technically speaking, we were quite close, but...
And I don't know why, I'm only fractious to her! I'm being such a prat!
I need to know why, so that I can fix it! (yes, it's me forcing my own brain, but, you know!)
As I continue wondering, I came to a possibility that may be true. I get jealous of others extremely easily, especially when it's about their abilities and intelligence... actually, only if it's about their abilities and intelligence.
And this certain friend had quickly and suddenly appealed to me as an extremely intelligent and talented person after another friend had commented on it.
Actually, rather than jealousy, it's also because I feel extremely inferior to them, which in turns make me feel extremely stupid and like a failure, and I don't like it?
...WHAT THE HELL!??
I hate it, why am I so petty, why am I so hateful!?? =*=
I should be happy that a friend is going well, right?? Right???
But I only care about myself, that's why I want to be the best!! That's right, oh, my! I just found the reason. 8D My self-centred and narrow-mindedness, I see.... Hmm... That's nice! Now it'll be easier to change, if I knew what the problem was! :)
Goodness... I need to change my mindset!
Also, I'm such a Slytherin!! ><
I see the competitive nature coming from inside you XD
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have a nit of friendly competition, but even better when you're able to help each other out or even work with each other :P
When I was at uni, I had a good network of smart friends (who are much smarter than me) to turn to just in case I needed a friendly, smart helping hand.
No, but well, I really have been a jerk, ignoring them and always in a bad mood every time we get engaged in a conversation... and, and... you know... :/
DeleteAhaha, that's convenient... but since I'm also arrogant on top of everything, I tend to... act a bit stuffy... I can't stop myself! Plus, I barely need any help anyways, so that doesn't happen often....
And my other, "really" smart friend would most probably not help me and say something like "it's for your own good", if I do really ask for help. Besides, she's smart, but she reads too much fanfiction and keeps forgetting her homework!!