Kill Me Now, and It's Not Because I'm Depressed

I swear, if that certain waitress at my restaurant acts like she has been for the last two weeks,

I WILL KILL...
...myself.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Why, is she trying to purposefully annoy me in everything she does!?

...or maybe it's just me, getting annoyed at everything she does?

Maybe it's just her face that annoys me!?
...but that doesn't make any sense....

Still, the HECK! She's been annoying me everything single effin' day that she's been at work!
Firstly, wearing such... inappropriate clothes for a waitress...

What is up with her sense of... decency? You'd never see someone wear SHORT SHORTS serving in a half-decent restaurant, would you?
Just "shorts" would've been... acceptable, but... SHORT SHORTS!??? What the heck was she thinking!?

...I had to cringe every time I looked at her that day... :/ Every.Single.Time.

And why is she being so utterly stupid those past few working days!? Can she not understand a simple order as "go clean 21"!?

And what is up with her... inability to partake in conversations!?
I ask her one thing, she tells me something else like she just ignored what I'd just asked her, she pipes out into other people's conversations randomly and said something that had nothing to do with the conversation or work... or just... just... UGGGHHH!!!!
I want to kill. ==

I was temporary given the task of paying the staffs while the boss was away - I was checking that the calculations of one of my coworkers, J-shi, was correct.
She worked from 5.30 to 9.15. She wrote down that it was 4 hours and 15 minutes. I told her that it was incorrect, and while we were debating about this, the-certain-waitress-that-had-been-annoying-me came up. J-shi then asked for her opinion. (I said that it was 3.75 hours anyways).
Then she said something that was inaudible to me.
J-shi and I were both "WHat?"
Then she said, "Nevermind, nevermind.", giving me the implications that she was treating like a bunch of idiots who couldn't do maths. Then she walked away, while we were still debating whether it was 4 hrs 15 mins or 3hours 45 mins.
The certain waitress walked back up because of whatever reason, and so we asked for her opinion again.
Then I said, "J-shi said that it was 4.15 hours... while I said that it was 3 hours and 45 mins - which is the same as 3.75 hours....!"
She: "That's exactly what I was talking about!"
Us: "...what?"
"Nevermind, nevermind. Don't worry about it," she said in the same tone that annoyed me then walked off.
J-shi: "...what is she on about?"
Me: *shrugs* =*=

Another time:
Me: "Hey, are there any more tables that needs taking order?" I asked her, since she was the first waitress I bumped into.
Her: "4" And she also showed 4 fingers.
Me: "4? Okay." I looked at table 4. I can't remember, but it was either that someone was already taking their order or that they were already eating, etc. But they definitely didn't need their orders taken. I turned back to her, "Any tables that needed ordering?"
Her: "4."
Me: =*= Quite loudly; "Table 4 needs ordering!?"
Her: "No, no, no! I need a table for 4, no booking."
Me: "..." GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Kill me now! I gave her an exasperated look, massaged my temples irritably and walked off, waving my hand off at her....

Another time, told to me by J-shi:
J-shi: "Hey, go table 21."
Her: "What? You want the bill?"
J-shi: "Clean 21."
Her: "21 wants the bill?"
J-shi: "GO CLEAN TABLE 21!"
Her: "...okay."
This isn't understandable because it's HER job to clean the tables, and it's MY job to do the bills, and J-shi was coming back from table 21 with plates in her arms... so there was absolutely no reason for J-shi to tell that-certain-waitress about a table wanting a bill; she'd tell me, and it would also be no reason for J-shi to tell that-certain-waitress to tell me either, since J-shi was walking towards my way.

Another time, although not really her fault and understandable;
Me: *hands her a $50 note* "Ice." < I was NOT in the mood to say more than one word to her at that moment in time...
Her: "Ice?"
Me: "Yes. Ice. 2 ice."
Her: "Like, two glasses of ice?"
Me: *a little impatiently* "Go buy two bags of ice from the convenience store."
Her: "Oh, okay. Which convenience store?"
Me: *explodes inside* "Don't worry. I'll go do it myself." I walked off, heading to the convenience store.
Her: "I'll come with you!" she says cheerfully.
Me: what the hell? Why are you coming with me just to waste your time? But I said nothing that let her follow me. As soon as we stepped out of the restaurant, I stopped walking. "You see that? That convenience store?"
Her: "Ohh!! Convenience store!" It was approx. 15 metres away from us, in plain view......
I was already getting intolerable with how she was (probably) unintentionally annoying me every friggin' time we talk.... =*=

Another time, and I was sure I was speaking in an appropriate volume;
Me: *sees people walking in with a wine bottle in their hands and sitting down on a certain table to join their friends who were already there* "'Her name' go ask if Table 11 wants an ice bucket."
Her: "...?" She looks at me.
Me: "Go ask if table 11 wants an ice bucket."
She looks to her right then to her right/my left. I thought she was looking whether table 11 had a wine/ice bucket or not, since the table was just behind her, a little to her right/my left. "...that's strange," she says.
Me: "...what's strange?"
Her: "The people on table 9... they just groped their friends... a little strange, don't you think...?" Note that table 9 was to her left, and my right. Completely opposite direction to table 11.
Me: "...okay...?"
Her: *grinning* "Don't worry about it, don't worry about it." Maybe it's because of my expression that she thought that I was confused?
Me: " 'Her name', go ask if table 11 want--." She walks off.
Me: "...OH MY GOD!"

~
There are some other things she does that not only does annoy me, but others.
Her knack to say things that causes people go respond with a "what are you on about?" is already annoying though.
She has quite the independence. She does things by herself. Which is usually a good trait.
But it definitely is not when she barges into other people's area of expertise and pretends that she being a part in it is totally normal.
My fellow co-worker: "She doesn't even know what she's doing..."
Me: "...she doesn't."
It would still annoy me when she receive customers and they happen to be waiting for takeaways, although it's unreasonable of me. But that was because I was already annoyed with her. ==
It would, however, annoy me, and it is not unreasonable of me, when she receives a customer, walks in, tells me + other people, the kitchen, etc., then does something like friggin' look through the takeaways, when she wouldn't even friggin' know what she was doing.
She would sometimes do that when I'm unavailable, like when I'm on the blasted phone. And then I would have to stop her from giving the customers a free meal.
...
Another thing she does as an example of her "going into other people's area of expertise and pretend like she knew what she was doing" was when she had written something that a table has ordered, and she doesn't put in it the corner - where they usually goes, but instead acts like she knows what to do and put in up on one of the clips holding the other orders (that I had sorted into).
The thing is, we have slots for orders for tables 1 to 18. But above that, they go in the clip.
She doesn't know this however, and she'd just innocently put an order for "16" or whatever onto the clip, which would annoy me. ...she could make us lose quite the amount of money if Table 16 paid before I saw it...
Once she did it when I standing right there and I caught her hand, "Don't do it."
Her: "...don't do it?"
Me: "Yes... Don't do it. Ever."
Ahh... but she did it again a while after that.

Her taking orders from tables also annoys me, because her handwriting makes me cringe.
And she makes mistakes now and then, but what annoys me most is when she does the mistakes that I have already told her off again - but that's just me being unreasonable, because I can't expect her to remember everything. But she was already annoying me so I couldn't help it, ahahahaha... xP

So many annoying things the newer waitresses could do to make me go insane...

Aaah...

I hate living...