Acquired Memento of How Terrible This Freakin' World is

So I ended up able to retrieve my USB back into my possession.

Except that it doesn't really feel like it's in my possession.

The real world is not so easy; what once lost cannot be regain. And No pain no gain.
I lost nothing to regained again what I'd lost.

Or maybe what I lost was a part of my... sanity?
Err, no. That's not it. Wrong choice of words.

I thought the despair I felt during that damn Science exam on my freakin' birthday was pretty bad, but losing my USB brought worse.
Aah... what a memorable feeling it was. :3
Greatly reminding me how the world is always unpredictable; one careless step and you may lose everything that is important to you. (although I made a backup, so that wasn't as terrible. Yes, it was only a simulation. The real thing will be worse. Much, much worse. Much, much, much worse.)

And I can blame no one but myself for this lost.
Like most times, there is no one but yourself to blame because it's usually you who have done the wrong. Unless it's someone elses.
I want to blame life, but there's no point in that because life has always been like it, and it will not change, but the people can. But the people won't change, so it won't change, either.

I haven't used my USB yet.
I feel that it would be too... I don't know, I just can't. I can't bring myself to use it.
Maybe I should just keep it as a memento of this event.
It'll remind me quite nicely how the world never goes the way you wish; it's unpredictable and you must be very careful or you end up half-dead.
Yeah... if I use it, I feel that this truth may be forgotten from my mind.

Yeah. I won't use it until....
Whenever.
Maybe once I finished that side story and pilot chapter for one of my stories and publish it on FPCom. And then I'll use it since I'd need to continue Chapter 32 of Four Leaf Clover.
Maybe never.