Things That You Wish to Happen/Do Are Usually Difficult, Otherwise You Would've Already Done it By Now and Will No Longer Be "Wishing" For it

Lately, or rather, this has been on my mind for quite a long while, but I think I might be better if I put on a facade.

Every time someone says something about life being great or something or the kind, I would passionately [yet emotionlessly, since I'm usually quite tired, another symptom of Depression] argue their, what I personally deemed, ridiculous opinions. :3
Most people happen to not like pessimism, most people like smiles and bright, cheerful personalities. (However I get annoyed when faced with an ultimately 24/7 smiling face of any person =*=)

I'm almost always either annoyed or emotionless, too, which equals in a pretty bad personality, over all. Plus, I rarely care about anyone but myself, a bad trait indeed. (I'm sure that I'd already mentioned that I have a bad personality somewhere, LOL :P)

...I've just realised something while thinking about what to write next.
I am extremely narrow-minded; I get irritated easily when people contradicts me/get things wrong, etc., I dislike other religions that is not my own (and things related to it), I... yeah, and there are things which I can't really think up from the top of my head at the moment... :)
I should be more open-minded... Now I know that I should be more open-minded, maybe I won't be as moody anymore, LOL. :3 I love it when I realise something about myself, more so if it's a trait. Because I hate ignorance, and I [secretly] pride in my non-self-ignorance. ^^

Okay, I got off-tracked.
I was going to talk about facades. And smiles.
Those annoying, painful, bothersome things calls smiles.
Every time I think of "smiles", "fun" or "cheer", I would feel the urge to sigh and just lay dead asleep on ma' bed...
Cheerful isn't a part of my personality. It can be sometimes when I'm high, but only then, and it would be short still.... or maybe it's that I'm actually really cheerful, but Depression is preventing me from being so? O.o That's a possibility...

What would forcing myself to act cheerful, forcing myself to react normally and maybe positively, forcing myself to smile all the time, etc, give a consequent of?
Would it bring a negative one and just makes me stressed and extremely tired?
Would it bring a good one and rolled on to become my real personality?

I doubt any of them since I find it hard to believe that I would actually accomplish such an amazing feat by someone with a... personality like mine....

Well, I'd think being open-minded would help a lot though. :)
Like as Deevi had once said [typed, actually], people annoy you since they don't follow your rule book.
I already knew that, but since I was a stubborn prat, I refused to let anyone not follow my rule book in my presence, despite already knowing that. xP
But being annoyed is also quite energy-consuming, and it's quite detrimental to success, so let's just...
...be a bit more open-minded, or in this case, open-booked. x)
(Yes, I know, terrible pun, not funny... :P)

Mata ne~

From,
Mage-chan~