Also, whee!! The post title rhymes!! 8D
I’m happy at myself today; I think I
acted pretty normal… I think. At least I highly hope so.
There was also another reason that made
me happy at myself (there were a few instances where I definitely was not happy
at myself though).
First let me relay to you what happened.
My friend’s household conditions has a
risk of falling apart (even disappearing completely as a whole) in the future,
and the problem and solution is money, plus people’s evilness.
She once stated that she was going to
save up money to help with the cursed problem.
So I said, a few eeks later, “You said
that you wanted to save up money right?”
“Yeah…?”
“However, if you continue working like
this, you’ll never get a pay rise! You’ll need to know what you’re doing wrong!
The other waitresses needs to know, too…”
“…I don’t really mind…”
“…”
“…”
I turned to her sharply.
She flashed me a sheepish-looking smile.
I mentally facepalmed myself.
The first second I was pissed at her,
but my logical mind caught up to me quite quickly, to my content. :)
Rather than getting angry at someone
like her who never fails to irritate me (along with many others – everybody in
the whole world never fail to irritate me every now and then) my feelings
changed.
I felt more like shooting myself in the
head for my stupidity.
This only farther supported my thoughts.
That feelings and emotions are only a
pain.
Yep, I’m still repeating myself.
I’m so boring. ==
I was happy that instead of feeling
irritated about that certain friend, I blamed myself instead.
Yay~! Yay yay~!
Everything is my fault anyways, so it’s
more reasonable of me to be irritated at myself. After all, it’s my fault;
since I started the conversation. I brought it onto myself.
My friend, after the Something You Feel When You Want Things to Just End Already post, wanted to say something in
response to it seeing that more than half of the post happens to be about her.
She replied – ui dunno what reaction or response from me she was aiming for,
but she responded with all those irrelevant points.
I was like, WTF? Why are you pointing
out all these things? They ain’t the problem – not the ones that needs fixin’
anyways. Sure, I mentioned them, but solving them won’t change too much.
But I’ve already fizzled my irritation
from that conversation by redirecting the unreasonable emotion to myself, so
now it’s reasonable.
After all it’s my fault for blogging
about it, resulting in her talking to me about it.
Besides, it’s almost impossible for me
to not be irritated at almost everything that anybody says. =.=”
But then again it’s my fault for being
so narrow-minded (and to be suffering from Depression), causing me to get
irritated so easily and so often. :/
I laughed out loud at the "mentally face-palmed myself" sentence :3 what a great way to redirect your own attention.
ReplyDeletereally does sound like your quite the depressed soul recently, even more so than the light flutter of depression that escape on to you blog in previous weeks.
You really should blame everything on yourself, whether you instigated things and suffered the consequence of the outcome. Other people do what they want to do and they may well be wrong, but they don't go about blaming themselves (infuriating though that may seem).
You may think that you're narrow minded at times, but actually, the fact that you have the ability to switch you frame of mind shows me that you have a much broader mind, which can see things from an alternative perspective, not bad and not narrow if you ask me :3
:3 It was meant for humour.
DeleteI know right. :) I could tell myself, because... I could just tell. I was actually going to blog about it, I wrote it, but by the time I was going to post it, I've already come out of my ultra depressed state. :P
...I'm a little confused with your third paragraph. O.o
Yeah... well, I like to look down on myself. :) I think it's better that way, although my lack of confidence is quite a problem...
Oh crap...
Deleteyea that was the worlds worse typo.......... .... T^T
obviously I was telling you thatyou SHOULDN'T blame everything on yourself... because I'm not a masochistic SOAB haha (well, maybe some times :3)
We have good days and bad days, sometimes we can feel good enough to feel confident in ourselves :)
Ah, I see. For a moment there I was like; "...wha? That's a bit strange... someone just told me that I should blame myself... am I seeing things??"
Delete...yeahhhh... sometimes.
yea sorry about that again, that's the last thing I would want to portray to you Mage-chan.
Delete